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Fri, Nov 19th - 12:59AM

Truly Blessed...
recently i have been blessed with a daughter. she's beautiful; brown hair, beautiful brown eyes, a smile that will melt your heart... she is also 30 years old. Surprised? yes, well, me too!

she may not have grown in my womb, but i couldn't love her any more if she had. she and i both agree that our connection was orchestrated by God.

there was a woman that was given the divine privilege of giving birth to this amazing human being; to nurture her, teach her, love her, and care for her. this chosen woman failed at her task when she abandoned her while she was young.

another women came into her life in the roll of step-mother; another very important roll in a child's life. she too failed at her task when she begrudged this precious child any amount of attention and love from her own father and even went so far as to speak the words that she would never love her because she wasn't "hers".

this beautiful child grew up without the benefit of a mother's love and presence in her life. the only truly loving people in her life were her paternal grandparents, but sadly they were not able to fill every need and were lost to her much too soon.

her road to young womanhood was a rocky one, to say the least. becoming a single mother, drifting amongst the human population, used, abused, rejected, overlooked, forgotten and left feeling alone, uncertain, and definitely unlovable.

while all of this was going on, i was living my life, having my own children, raising them, and having my own struggles but making it through nonetheless. i had a son and then a daughter. the perfect combination that fulfilled my dream of a family and filled my heart and days with joy and challenges. i was not a perfect mother, but i was always the best mother i could be under any given circumstance.

i was thrilled when my son attained the age of 18. that might sound funny, but it is true! lol there were times when i wasn't sure he would make it to adulthood because of his headstrong ways, his independent and intense nature, and his ability to get himself into trouble. i loved him dearly and watched him go out into the world to make his way. he stumbled a few times, learned some lessons the hard way, and finally found his niche in life as a husband, father and a u.s. army soldier.

my daughter was just as challenging! she was constantly pushing my patience, my wisdom and faith. the very character traits that were so challenging while she was growing up were also the very ones that would work in her favor when she was an adult. tenacious. loyal. stubborn. verbose. willing. friendly. loving. in some ways, she challenged my mothering skills in so many more ways than her brother ever had. there is a much different dynamic when raising a daughter.

when my daughter was 15 years old, she was diagnosed with cancer. a devastating blow. we moved beyond the shock and fear and tackled it with everything we had. her strength and determination were never-ending! watching my child go through such a horrible ordeal was heart wrenching. oh how i wished i could take it all away! but i couldn't. in the end, we lost our sweet girl at the age of 16 years old. the single most devastating and life-altering thing to happen in my life. i did not know how i would go on living. i knew i would, but i didn't know exactly how.

it has been 5 years since that horrible loss occurred. i miss her every minute of every hour of every day. that will never change. i mourn the loss of her presence in my life. i grieve the loss of things that "might have been" had she had the chance to grow into adulthood. i was saddened and angry that i was cheated out of reaping the rewards of making it through all those difficult years; i would never see her go to college, fall in love, get married, experience pregnancy, birth and motherhood. i would never be able to pass on to her so many things that my mother and grandmother had taught me. i would never be able to love and care for her children. all of it had slipped through my fingers like fine-grained sand.

and then something miraculous happened. that lonely young woman that i mentioned earlier and i crossed paths. our families were not too far apart on the same family tree. we hadn't spent a great deal of time together, or known each other very well, but we had met a decade earlier and i had thought at the time that there was something special about her, something that i was drawn to.

we began to talk, to get to know one another, to learn about each others lives. as we became acquainted, it became more and more evident that we had been brought together through divine intervention to meet a deep desire within each of us; mine to once again have a daughter to love and interact with, and hers to have a mother to love and care for her and be present in her life.

as we became more and more aware, the more joyful we became. i still cannot believe that i have been so richly blessed. not only do i have a new daughter, but i have a son-in-law and three beautiful grandchildren! every day i think of her. i wonder what she is doing, i look forward to talking to her, and i thank God for bringing her to me. i am already looking forward to birthdays, anniversaries, celebrations, etc. i am already looking forward to visiting her and her family one day in the near future.

i can hear the joy in her voice when she talks to me. when she calls me mama it makes my heart sing! she soaks up love like a sponge, and i'm sure will always hunger for more and more, which is a good thing because i am hungry to give that love and i'll never run out! we have embarked on a journey together that neither one of us had anticipated or planned, but one that will i'm sure be remarkable.

yes, i am truly blessed. beyond measure. God is good. I am so very thankful.

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