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Mon, Jul 18th - 12:07PM

Judge not...

So one of the greatest things about being open-minded is that it makes it easier to take criticism and learn from your human error.† So... ek pleit bewusteloos!† No, really, all joking aside I have realised that being opinionated can easily spill over into being judgemental!† So - what's the solution.† "Judge not, lest ye be judged"† is a hard one for all of us.† I mean, everyone has a tendency to be judgmental at some stage.† Here's the question... where is the line?† Is it a case of "Well, you know, we are all human and so we should accept people the way they are.†"† Yes, okay.† So when a guy rapes your sister, or someone shoots your brother, etc. etc. etc, do you say, "Well.† I know what they did was wrong but we can't judge them.† Just let them be. Worry about your own soul."†

I suppose that is a great principle.† So, here's where I draw the line.† I admit my own problem with being judgemental.† I hate hypocrisy.† Why can't people just be who they are?† Why must we pretend to be someone we are not? Are there times when we should say what we believe in the hope of changing society?† For instance shall we close our eyes to violence, abuse, xenophobia, etc and just live and let live? Is worrying about only your own soul and tolerating evil really what we should be doing?

Gregory† Kouk in the†"True†Nature of Tolerance", [ ], "Using the modern definition of tolerance, you will see that no one is tolerant, or ever can be. It's what my friend Frank Beckwith calls the "passive aggressive tolerance trick." ... "If you reject another's ideas, you're automatically accused of disrespecting the person (as the coed did of me). On this new view of tolerance, no idea or behavior can be opposed, even if done graciously, without inviting the charge of incivility."

So basically it seems that nowadays†consider tolerance or not being judgemental means that you can never say someone else is wrong then. In the words of S.D. Gaede "If the worst thing you can be is intolerant, then how do you express your moral outrage? If you are intolerant of someone who is intolerant, then you have necessarily violated your own principle. But if you tolerate those who are intolerant, you keep your principle but sacrifice your responsibility to the principle. Indeed, the only person who can find consistency on this matter is the individual who is wholly committed to tolerance, to the point of being apathetic." The irony of the dilemma is that people who express the most outrage toward intolerance, in this new definition, are themselves intolerant. When they call for tolerance, the effect is greater intolerance.

Most of what passes for "tolerance" today is really just†intellectual cowardice. People hide behind being "neutral" or "tolerant" to avoid intellectual engagement and avoid the issues at hand.†"Oh, I don't discuss politics, religion, abuse, etc.† After all everyone is entitled to their opinion and beliefs!"† Is this why we turn a blind eye to†blantantly abusived behaviours, violent crime, etc?† Then we sit in our safe little hide outs and say, "The world is in such an awful way! People have no values!"†

I guess what†I am trying to say is, yes, sometimes†I am really too judgemental and opinionated and my views are not politically correct or easily misunderstood.† Yes, sometimes it's a case of the pot calling the†kettle black.††I appologise for that.† I do not, however, appologise for†calling a spade a spade.††

Bill Newcomer so rightly says, "We are the tolerant society. Nothing much angers us any more. Nothing, that is, except someone who is not as tolerant as we are! We can tolerate anything except the person who won't tolerate anything! No wonder our favorite Bible verse is Matthew 7:1, "Judge not that ye be not judged." The new "unpardonable sin" is "judging." What a blessing this "new commandment" is to "Easy Christianity." Hypocrites can flaunt their violations of the Word of God and yet parade unchallenged as Christians. No one dares call them hypocrites for ("Oh, Horrors!") that would be "judging them." Tell anyone nowadays that he or someone else is doing wrong and you will be immediately rebuked, "Don't Judge!" Is such a use of this verse proper? It clearly is not. It can't mean that we must give up all spiritual discernment in order to be "loving Christians." Five verses later Jesus says, "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine" (Matthew 7:6). This command assumes the exercise of spiritual discernment."

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Mon, Jul 18th - 12:06PM

Fear not...
Well, hello cyber world. Been so busy with real live conversations haven't had time to blog! Is that sad or appropriate. Isn't it better to be looking someone in the eye than talking to the wall that is my screen? Sometimes that blank screen just gives me writer's block. Anyway let's talk about fear and courage; weakness and strength. It has been a subject of much discussion this last week. What makes me strong? The ability to persevere? Or is that stupidity? Hitting your head against the misfortunes of life until they crack or you do. It's hard to say really. I always think of strength as the ability to keep on going when a positive outcome seems unreachable - a stubborn streak you might say. Fear, of course, we all know. That sneaky little voice that says, "Just give up. You can't do this". Fear of being alone, misjudged, misunderstood. Oh, yes, fear is my buddy. Fear reminds me when it is time to stand up and be counted. Fear pushes me to be socially conscious and loudly voice my opinions, because I know that courage is the ability to master your fear. I don't think there ever is an absence of fear but the mastery of it sure makes me stronger. Whatís your greatest fear? Have you been hiding from the world because of it? Itís amazing what facing that fear and pushing through it can do to your life. Take a deep breath. Pray. Meditate. Face it and then glory in the victorious world of the conqueror. If I could do it, anyone can.

Remember "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

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Mon, Jul 18th - 12:04PM

Survivor to Thriver
Survivor to Thriver - we run this programme on our website (

This programme was devised The Morris Centre (see for more information). The Survivor to Thriver programme is broken down into three stages:

Stage One: Remembering

1.I am in a breakthrough crisis, having gained some sense of my abuse.

2.I have determined that I was physically, sexually or emotionally abused as a child.

3.I have made a commitment to recovery from my childhood abuse.

4.I shall re-experience each set of memories as they surface in my mind.

5.I accept that I was powerless over my abusers' actions which holds THEM responsible.

6.I can respect my shame and anger as a consequence of my abuse, but shall try not to turn it against myself or others.

7.I can sense my inner child whose efforts to survive now can be appreciated.

Stage Two: Mourning

1.I have made an inventory of the problem areas in my adult life.

2.I have identified the parts of myself connected to self-sabotage.

3.I can control my anger and find healthy outlets for my aggression.

4.I can identify faulty beliefs and distorted perceptions in myself and others.

5.I am facing my shame and developing self-compassion.

6.I accept that I have the right to be who I want to be and live the way I want to live.

7.I am able to grieve my childhood and mourn the loss of those who failed me.

Stage Three: Healing

1.I am entitled to take the initiative to share in life's riches.

2.I am strengthening the healthy parts of myself, adding to my self-esteem.

3.I can make necessary changes in my behavior and relationships at home and work.

4.I have resolved the abuse with my offenders to the extent that is acceptable to me.

5.I hold my own meaning about the abuse that releases me from the legacy of the past.

6.I see myself as a thriver in all aspects of life - love, work, parenting, and play.

7.I am resolved in the reunion of my new self and eternal soul.

For more information contact us on

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Mon, Jul 18th - 11:57AM

Welcome to Your New Blog!
Dear user celop,

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