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Fri, Mar 30th - 5:00AM

Judge Not?
by Pastor Greg Baker

What would be the most important ingredient to any healthy, successful relationship? Would it be love? Trust? Attraction? Or something else? This article explains the one factor, the one ingredient that is required for any relationship to be healthy and successful.

Sitting in front of my desk is a couple seeking marriage. As I am a pastor, this is not an uncommon sight. In an effort to get to know their relationship better and whether or not it will work, I always ask, "What is the most important factor in your relationship?" The usual, typical response is, "We love each other."

Of that, I am glad, but I will more often than not shake my head and say, "When you argue with people, is it with those you don't love or those whom you do? When you get into a fight, is it typically with those you love or those you don't? When you get angry with someone, is it normally with those you don't love or those you do?" The couple will usually glance guiltily at each other and then look uncomfortably back at me. They know the answer and so do I. Our success in a relationship is not dependent solely upon love. Love is not the most essential factor for a successful relationship.

So then, what is? The answer is simple: Communication.

Without the ability to properly express yourself, you cannot convey your love, trust, and attraction. You may love someone dearly, but if you lack the ability to convince them of your love, you will find your relationship filled with doubt and distress.

The Bible speaks of this when it says:

Proverbs 18:21 - Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

It does not matter who you are or what you do in life, your relationships is the most important asset you have. Your ability to communicate and convey your ideas, emotions, and thoughts is your greatest asset in a relationship.

Communication is a skill, not a talent. Some may be more skilled than others, but everyone can learn to communicate. Here are a few things to remember:

ALL RELATIONSHIP FAILURES ARE COMMUNICATION FAILURES

You cannot succeed in a relationship without the ability to communicate. Have you ever been misunderstood, taken the wrong way, or perceived to be something you are not? Most of us, if not all of us, have. That is a direct result of our failure to properly communicate something important to someone.

COMMUNICATION IS THE ONLY WAY TO EXPRESS THE SOUL

The core of our personality and being is the soul. It is unique and special. People only get to know the real you through the words you choose to convey yourself with. Who I am and who you are is most readily understood through what we say. What we do is important too, but ultimately people judge our words by our actions, not our actions by our words. People see our actions as supporting our word. Ultimately, the words we use are more important to others as it is our words that define who we are and what we do.

WORDS DEFINE OUR RELATIONSHIPS

The basis of your relationships is often determined and defined by how well you communicate. A marriage, for example, may inadvertently lay a foundation of mistrust due to a husband's inability to convey his love for his wife as opposed to his excitement over a basketball game that often has practically naked women dancing in a provocative manner during breaks and timeouts. His enthusiasm may be misunderstood and his inability to communicate that to his wife will define his marriage in unintended ways.

CONCLUSION

You must learn to communicate well. Communication is the foundation and bedrock of any relationship.

Author Resource:-> Greg S. Baker is a Pastor, Counselor, and Author specializing in building and strengthening relationships.

Please visit our website at: fitlyspoken.org

For more books and resources on how to communicate better, express yourself, and strengthen social skills. Check out our book, 'Fitly Spoken', a Christian based book that explores the intricacies of human communication and expression in relationships.

See my article directory for more articles: articles.christianbaptists.com

Article From Christian Baptist Articles


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Sat, Mar 24th - 4:19AM

Help! Fixing A Broken Relationship
by Fred Baker

Are you trying desperately to repair your relationship? Is it still in the early stages with some rough spots or have you broken up?

I know what that's like. Not too long ago, my boyfriend and I split up. God that is an awful feeling. I was in pain and making myself sick. After a couple of weeks, I had enough suffering and decided I wanted to get back together with him. I found some great steps to take and surprise they really worked. We are back together again. I am thrilled it worked.

Stick with me. So how do you start fixing your broken relationship?

First thing, stop and look back at the two of you. Dig for any problem areas. See any? Maybe you already are aware of some parts that definitely need work?

You found some? Great, Lets start working on them.

For example, trust issues or money issues affect a lot of couples.

Even if you already broke up with your girlfriend or boyfriend, it is quite possible to win them back.

How?

To get started, you need to look at what went wrong in the first place and find a couple reasons why you both split up.

Are you totally committed to repairing your relationship and getting back together? Then keep reading.

Because I have a real secret to share with you.

You need to do and say the right things and really mean them in order to be successful in fixing a broken relationship.

As an example, if what you are trying isn't working. Stop immediately and back off. If your boyfriend doesn't want you sending 100 texts a day, stop sending so many.

Doing a few little things will often increase your chances for a makeup or 2nd chance as they say.

When you get in touch with your ex. Just talk about what's up with them. How they are? Really listen to what they are saying. Listen carefully and make sure you are hearing them.

Show them you understand in words and actions that you really have been listening to them. Once you do that, you have every chance of fixing a broken relationship.

Author Resource:-
Need more help fixing a relationship visit http://exbackafterbreakup.blogspot.com


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Sun, Mar 18th - 3:15AM

Keep it Real
by Brian Cuningham

I have served in ministry for 8 years and have noticed that the higher levels you go, the higher the devils. There are people who know about your successes like David but yet still insist on pointing out your deficiencies or flaws instead of helping by "keeping it real" or truly honest. Now, the word of God is profitable for reproof or to humble those whom are called unto the purpose. Just as Jesus states, my sheep know my voice, I call them and they answer. I believe that in leadership you must know the word in order to practice the word. There are people in the church who have crept into leadership who don't truly have the fruits of leadership growing in their life. Therefore, you have people who tend to be critical of each other, envious and live like people in the world. A wise man will increase in their understanding of people enough to look into people lives in ways that they can help their growth in the Lord if there appears to be an actually stump in spiritual growth. Yet, I must exercise the fact that in order to correct someone else on a manner 1st get the manner out of your own life. You never benefit yourself looking at someone else’s ailment and not your own. The bible says in: Matthew 7:3-5

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

Furthermore, I also want to bring up the notion that if you walk in offense, never bottle it up, but go to that person and let that person know the offense, to see if it can be worked out privately. Check out this scripture from Matthew 18:15-17

"If your brother sins against you go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."

The reality is that we have to open our mouth and let people know how we feel or how we desire to be treated. Offense settles when we can't "keep it real" when it comes to certain matters- which eventually destroys us and the relationship. One thing that used to amaze me about talk shows was when I would see contestants who were bitter with one another because of offense that went unattended to and lead to distrust of each other and bitter resentment. I think it's time for the body of Christ to grow to maturity enough to know that we must "keep it real" and tell the truth to each other about our feeling. That is not truth integrity when we "bottle up" feeling or play submissive in times when we need to speak up for ourselves. Then we have a problem with Christians not being lights in the world. Well my only guess is because we are sometimes afraid to keep it honest with one another. Until next time, realize that true bible humility incorporates honesty and integrity. In order to live an honest life we must not be afraid to confront each other in a loving manner. God has given each of us the tools to walk in love with our brother and sister in Christ as well as with humanity.

Author Resource:- Brian Cunningham IFM, Inc


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Mon, Mar 12th - 2:45AM

Christians and Boundaries
Five Causes of Weak Boundaries
by Karla Downing

Christians need boundaries but often don't have them in their relationships. Here are five causes of weak boundaries:

1. You were raised in a dysfunctional home where boundaries weren't modeled. As a result, you don't know what healthy boundaries are and don't recognize that you need to have them. You may believe that a wife submits to her husband in everything and isn't entitled to say no. You may believe that a husband loves by tolerating and overlooking everything. You may believe that a parent shows love by saying yes to everything.

2. You believe that being a good Christian means that you tolerate everything while forgiving and giving. There are many misconceptions that Christians have that result in doing unhealthy things in relationships. Yes, we need to forgive as opposed to holding bitterness and resentment, but you can forgive while having boundaries so the person cannot continue to harm you. And of course you need to give, but the giving needs to be balanced and voluntary.

3. You recognize your relationship isn't healthy but don't know what your boundaries are. You doubt your feelings, thoughts, and perceptions. Boundaries require clarity. You have to be able to clearly see what your responsibilities are and what the responsibilities of the other person are. Self doubt prevents you from being clear and makes you vulnerable to believing what the other person says over yourself.

4. You are afraid to set boundaries because you know the person won't respect them and you will have to figure out what to do about the boundary violation. The more difficult the person, the more your boundaries will be challenged. Boundary-less people are often like two-year-olds. They are strong-willed and defiant and will test your limits.

5. You would rather give in to keep the peace because you are uncomfortable with conflict. Boundaries often result in conflict, especially when you start to set them and the person isn't used to you having them. If you want to avoid conflict, setting boundaries will be difficult for you. But until you risk speaking the truth and drawing lines, nothing will change and things may get worse.

If you are a Christian and boundaries are difficult for you, identify which of these five causes are to blame and begin to work on developing your ability to have boundaries. God wants us to have boundaries in relationships.

If you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.


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Tue, Mar 6th - 4:19AM

Apples and Oranges
by Debra Burgess

An apple lay beside the orange in the tray upon the table. The apple was red and delicious awaiting its moment to delight. As the apple waited, he could feel the skin of the bright and luscious orange beside him. He admired both the new color and texture so different from his own.

For a moment the apple desired to be something different, something other than what he was. The orange spoke a secret to him in that moment, "I love who you are, don't ever change." The apple looked at himself once again, realizing the beauty of red.

I love to encourage the heart of people to be who they are meant to be in Christ. My hope is anything offered of myself would be pleasing first to my Heavenly Father and secondly to bring a blessing to others. www.debrabee.org

The GeoChristian Award is presented to WebRing blogs devoted to the Christian faith, love of God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

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Womens Interest
By and for Christian women - your place for articles, poems, stories and much more.

"And the gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world"

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