Thu, Apr 2nd - 8:41AM
Hello World, and Welcome to my Blog!
Hello World, and Welcome to my Blog!
There is no main purpose for this Blog. Other than the fact that I just wanted to share with the world how being Bi-Polar has affected my life, and continues to affect it. Due to the possibility of by some remote chance that somebody may recognize names or events that I may tell you about, all names used in my articles have been changed to protect their privacy.
Back in 1995 I suffered an injury to my lower back, sacroiliac joint, and damaged the sciatic nerve in my left leg, I have to use a cane to walk. I have Meniere's Disease, an affliction of the inner ear that causes dizziness, instability Tinnitus and nausea (like being severely motion sick). I have severe acid-reflux disease so there is not a lot of pain medication I can take anymore. Now I have been diagnosed as Bi-Polar (II) as well as having a 'Social Anxiety Disorder' and some what Obsessive Compulsive.
So... do I smoke weed??? You bet your ass I do! Smoking weed relieves my pain, settles the instability, settles the nausea and calms me. Like I said to my Doc, "You find me a pill that does all that and I will stop smoking weed." (Yes all my doctors and therapist know I smoke weed, and not one has said a word to me about it.)
As much as I hate being 'Labelled' as Bi-Polar; when I think back over my life... yeah... the diagnosis fits I guess. Just too bad I wasn't diagnosed years ago... things might have been different today. As I recant the story's of my life, you will clearly see the 'High-Points' and the'
Low Points'... the 'Manic' and the 'Mania'... the 'Yin' and 'Yang' of being 'Normal'.
Being Bi-Polar has cost me everything and everybody in my life. It has caused me to ruin everything I touch! Although I have three older sisters, a brother, a son, a daughter, grandson and a son-in-law.... I am alone! This 'Disease' has caused me to be alienated from all of them!
Oh don't despair! My life story is far from dull... growing up with two alcoholic parents was fun. Of course, there's the sexual molesting by my Uncle and the guy that use to like to watch little girls pee in the woods... yeah, he was hilarious! Then there's my troublesome teens... the stuff I got caught doing! My first suicide attempt, my marriage to an alcoholic (Oh the story's I can tell you!), becoming a mother, the split ups and the FIRST divorce. The sobering up and reconciliation/split up/reconciliation. My injury and our second wedding.
Let's not forget about the 18 MONTH period where my Mother died of liver failure, our dear friend died on our sofa, we had a house fire and lost virtually everything, my 15yr old son was accused of getting a 13yr old girl pregnant and then my Father passed away suddenly. My husband had given up work, not making any money and I left for Ontario!
It's not over yet.... now we're at my second suicide attempt, 3 month hospitalization, 2 months in a Woman's Shelter to this apartment. That was in Sept/2005.
Trust me, the story doesn't end here either! Since Sept/2005 life has been a constant battle of ups and downs... till now. Seems like I am finally levelling out, I just wonder if it's too little too late as I have nobody left in my life.
These days... my days are spent on the computer mostly. I have been working on a few projects that a friend has gotten me interested in. One of which being this Blog or a Web site. You see I have a collection of "Inspirational's" (poems) that have been sent to me through emails this past many years. A few years back, I took this 'Inspirations", applied different graphics to them and made posters of them, which I sold at the craft fair, along with other paraphernalia... they were pretty popular too... I could even laminate them!
Anyway, my friend, who passed on March 1st, (He went to BC! LOL), inspired me to get at them again. He downloaded some pretty great programs on my computer so I can edit graphics and create these inspirational again. So far it's been keeping me busy... I have around 100 or more. I haven't got them all completed yet. It's still a work in progress but I am constantly at them and uploading them... so keep checking back!
View My Main Page
(NOTE: Ramblings May Not Occur Every Day... I Do Have Other Things To Do Ya Know! LOL!)
~ My Life, Before I Met My Ex Husband (Coming Soon!)
~ Life With My Ex Husband, Part 1 (Coming Soon!)
~ 2008, Part 2, "The Comeback?" (Coming Soon!)
Meet The People In My Life (Or Not!)
(NOTE: All Names Have Been Changed To Protect 'Some' People's Privacy)
~ My Ex Husband, 'Daniel' (currently no contact)
~ My Daughter, 'Danielle' (currently no contact)
~ My Son, 'Thomas' (currently have some contact)
~ My Grandson, 'Jordan', (currently no contact)
~ My Son-In-Law, 'Damien' (currently no contact... and don't want any!)
~ My Sister in Ontario, 'Amanda' (currently no contact... and don't want any!)
~ My Sister in Alberta, 'Maria', (currently no contact)
~ My Sister, Here, 'Linda', (currently have some/little contact)
~ My Brother, Here, 'Albert', (currently have no contact)
~ My GFriend, 'Candice'
~ My BFriend, 'Danny'
~ My Friend, 'Dan'
~ The "Other Two Downstairs", 'Bonnie and Clyde'
~ My Cousin, 'Steven' And His Spouse
~ My Other Cousin, 'Cathy'
~ My Neighbor, 'Patsy'
A Project I am continuously working on and adding to.
I have 1 video on YouTube 'Candice' and I did friday night when she was here. It's kind of lame, but it's right here if you want to see it.