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Sat, Jun 13th - 4:43AM

Miscarriage: Flashbacks to a terrible time.
Heidi says:

Dear Ellen,

This time of year is so difficult for me. It's been two years since my miscarriage, (in June of 2007), and I feel like I experience flashbacks of that terrible time. I know I've come a long way from when it first happened, but sometimes I feel like I've still got so far to go. Right now, I don't feel like I've healed at all. I cry and feel depressed. I miss my baby as I did right after my miscarriage and wonder if this time of year will always trigger my sadness to come out? I am very thankful for this website. After reading so many of the other stories, I know I'm not alone in this. Thank you for all you're doing, and to all the women here, I am very sorry you've gone through this.

Dear Heidi,

I am so sorry for your loss, and I know what it's like when the anniversary date of your miscarriage rolls around. Many of us have flashbacks and it feels like you're reliving the entire experience. I have struggled with this, even all these years later.

You have come a long way in terms of healing and I thinks it's a sadly natural thing for you to remember, reflect, and cry over the baby you loved and lost. One day at a time is the only way you can take this- and sometimes you just need to talk to someone who understands. I understand, the women here do, and so many others. I know that doesn't change what you're experiencing, but it helps to know you're not alone.

If you find yourself really sinking into a depression, I gently suggest talking it out with a grief counselor, friend- someone.

Also, it helped me a great deal when I had a memorial service for my baby, and I waited seventeen years to do it. The feeling of closure I got was necessary, and although the sting of my miscarriage didn't go away, it was lessened by holding my own goodbye to my son. I read him a letter, set a balloon into the air with my kiss mark on it and knew he got my message. More importantly, I felt like I'd finally given him the memorial he deserved. No, I never got to hold or see my son, but I loved him with all my heart and he touched my life in profound ways- just like your baby touched your life.

As you go through the days, please be gentle to yourself and know you are perfectly normal for grieving, remembering and missing your precious baby.

I'm always here for you. Please come back whenever you want.

Love, Light and Blessings to you,

Today's angel message from my Messages from Your Angels Perpetual Flip Calendar
by Doreen Virtue is: "Miracles rush toward those who love so completely, and if you accept love through a human relationship, it shall be yours indeed."

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