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Sat, May 31st - 10:35AM

Mongol: The Movie, and Movie Inaccuracies

A friend just sent me a link to this movie called Mongol which is coming out June 6th. It is about the rise of Genghis Khan, and from the looks of it promises to be a really good movie. You can see the movie trailer here.

The funny thing to me is all the arguments about historical accuracy that the movie is already spawning. People start using works like "Atila the Hun" (people constantly misspell Attila), comparing hun/turkish cavalry to mongolian cavalry, people misspelling words constantly, arguments about whether the director is Russian or Japanese...

Basically lots of proof that the majority of people don't have a fricken clue what they are talking about.

The posts on YouTube for the movie trailer are ridiculously long and every idiot with a keyboard seems to have popped up claiming to be an expert on mongolian history and drawing comparisons. To me this is more proof why people should NOT have a comments section for a video.

It is very simple: People post the stupidest things.

And then they flame each other over the most idiotic things, especially movie inaccuracies.

Lets take for example the often used "khopesh sword" (as seen in the various The Mummy movies), a tool which was used in ancient Egypt to chop heads off. It is shaped like a sickle and designed with the blade on the inside of crescent moon blade so that when someone's head is on a chopping block the sword would go around the person's neck easily and not get damaged on the chopping block.

But in The Mummy and other movies the blade has been reversed so it looks more like a scimitar, and used as an actual weapon instead of as an executioner's tool. Sadly most people watch these movies and assume that because it is in the movie that it is somehow accurate. The result? Thanks to movie inaccuracies people waste hours and hours arguing back and forth online about what a real khopesh looks like and the what it was actually used for.

Here's another one that the movie industry constantly messes up: The proper way to slit your wrists.

Contrary to what many movies show, the proper way to slit your wrists is NOT across the wrists. It is lengthwise. If you're going to commit suicide at least try to do it properly.

Now I understand, yes, the movie industry is deliberately perpetuating the wrong way to slit your wrists in hopes that people will mess it up and survive their suicide attempt. I totally get that. But if someone is serious about killing themselves they won't stop at slitting their wrists. There are plenty of other ways to commit suicide that are relatively quick and painless (getting hit by a freight train is pretty effective).

Back to the movie Mongol... I think its about time someone made a blockbuster film on the man behind the legend of Genghis Khan. While I am at it I should point out the proper pronunciation is "jeng'gis kän".

Other movies I'd like to see made:

Che Guevara (can we get Johnny Depp for that one?)

Rasputin (Russia's Greatest Love Machine)

The Life and Times of Russ Meyer

Charlemagne

The Knights Templar

The Once and Future King

Metropolis (a remake I admit, but since the original has been lost we might as well)

The Dragonlance Chronicles (one of the most popular fantasy series ever made)

Bran Mak Morn (a fantasy classic by Robert E. Howard, the creator of Conan)

 


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