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Thu, Dec 27th - 1:18PM

Funny Jokes - Famous Jokes - Virus Alert - Watch Out For These!
Security experts and federal government authorities warn that
offspring of the dangerous "I love you" e-mail virus are now on
the loose. As a public service, we present the following list of
"I Love You" mutations and how to recognize them.


The "I Love You, But I'm Shy" virus never actually invades your
computer, but collects data about it worshipfully from afar.

The "Love The One You're With" virus hangs around your computer,
but the whole thing is just temporary until it can find the
computer that it really wants to invade.

The "Happily Married" virus invades only one computer and stays
with it for life.

The "Unhappily Married" virus spends a long time negotiating with
a computer, finally invades it, and then strays to other computers
from time to time.

The "I Want A Divorce" virus sends repeated, hard-to-read messages
that your computer isn't working and takes half of your computer's
best data in an ugly network session.

The "Stalker" virus spends unnatural amount of time monitoring your
computer, collecting data your computer has thrown away and tries
to record all of its functions. And it writes rude messages to any
other computer with which yours connects on any regular basis.

The "Forever Single" virus causes your computer to focus solely on
other computers with which it is totally incompatible or prove
generally unavailable.

The "Deadbeat Dad" virus invades your computer, spawns an entirely
new database, then refuses to help update it as it grows.

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