If you're familiar with the expression "gag me with a spoon" and the
culture that associated with it, you know what a "valley girl" is.
Back in the early eighties, the term was so popular that there was even a short-lived television series based on the culture.
Paris
Hilton and her ilk might like to think that they created the
super-materialistic, vacuous bimbo image, but they are mere echos to
the rampant material girls who strove to imitate women living in the
world-famous Los Angelic "Valley."
But, how does this make Sarah Palin a "valley girl," you might wonder?
In
Southcentral Alaska, the small towns of Palmer and Wasilla are
collectively referred to as "The Valley." Wasilla, as you recall, is
the now infamous hometown of Republican Vice Presidential candidate
Sarah Palin.
Aside from being the meth capital of Alaska,
Wasilla also boasts the second highest concentration of "hot" women
(Girdwood, home of disgraced Republican Senator Ted Stevens, being the
first). "If Lindsay Lohan lived in Alaska, she'd definitely live in
Wasilla," said one University of Alaska, Anchorage, Freshman.
Add
to all of that the fact that Sarah competed in the Miss Alaska beauty
pageant, and you have a recipe for a bona fide "valley girl."
While
investigating a tie between Ms. Palin and the possibility in her
involvement in the valley girl movement of 1983, one anonymous
classmate had this to report: "I've always remembered how in our senior
year, Sarah said, 'Like, wouldn't it be sooo rad if I became the first
woman president?' I used that line day for years. It never got old."
Although based in fact, this post is completely satirical and dedicated to those incredibly witty writers at The Onion.