Thu, Sep 27th - 12:28PM
A Senior Moment
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her
car,
found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped
her
shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top
of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of
the car!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and
ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her
shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's
seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the
ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. For
the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a
Frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat.
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five
spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to
the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she
told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end
of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by
a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall,
glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges
were filed.
Moral of the story?
If you're going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable.
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Tue, Sep 25th - 12:12PM
Taco Dip for Nacho Chips or Pork Skins
Ingredients
1 (8 oz.) Philadelphia Cream Cheese (light or regular)
1 tub sour cream (light or regular)
1 bottle taco sauce
lettuce, shredded
1 tomato, chopped
1 block cheddar cheese, shredded
scallions, finely chopped
Directions
Cream cream cheese with mixer. Add sour cream. Mix well for about
1 minute. Add taco sauce. Pour into shallow dish. Refrigerate. Just
before serving, top with tomato, lettuce, onion and cheese.
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Fri, Sep 21st - 3:36PM
Friendship
The rain may be falling hard outside, But your smile makes it all alright. I'm
so glad that you're my friend. I know our friendship will never end.
Robert Alan
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Thu, Sep 20th - 11:33AM
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. Of course, I fished it out and threw
it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to
my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a
charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it
fell in the toilet a few days ago." <a href="http://funny-quotes.blogspot.com/" title="Funny Jokes">Funny Jokes</a>
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Wed, Sep 19th - 1:57PM
Polynesian Turkey Kabobs Diabetic
1 lb boneless uncooked turkey breast
1 20-ounce can juice-packed pineapple chunks, drained
1 large red bell pepper, cut into chunks
1 large green bell pepper, cut into chunks
2 tbsp low-sugar orange marmalade
1/2 tsp ground ginger
Cut turkey into bite-size chunks. Thread turkey chunks onto skewers
alternately with pineapple and peppers. Melt marmalade. Stir in
ginger. Brush about half of marinade over kabobs. Broil 4 inches from heat,
12 to 15 minutes. Turn and baste with marinade. Broil 5 to 10
minutes longer, until turkey is tender.
Makes 4 Servings.
Dietary Exchanges: 3 Lean Meats, 1 Fruit
Nutrients Per Serving:
205 Calories
24 g Protein
12 g Carbohydrates
10 g Fat
41 mg Sodium
94 mg Cholesterol
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Tue, Sep 18th - 11:29AM
Success
The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but
whether it is the same problem you had last year. John Foster Dulles (1888-1959) U.S. Secretary of State
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Mon, Sep 17th - 10:58AM
Expensive
"Remember that the six most expensive words in business are: 'We've
always done it that way.'" Catherine DeVrye
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Fri, Sep 14th - 12:51PM
Just a job
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I just
beat people up
Muhammad Ali
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Thu, Sep 13th - 12:16PM
Cranberry Sour Cream Bundt Cake
Cranberry Sour Cream Bundt Cake
1 Stick butter
1 c Sugar
2 Eggs
1 ts Baking powder
1 ts Baking soda
2 c Flour
1/2 Pint sour cream
1 ts Almond or vanilla extract
1 16 oz whole cranberry
Sauce ( not jellied )
Topping:
1/2 c Chopped nuts
Cream butter and sugar well. Beat in eggs well.
Combine dry ingredients. Add dry ingredients alternately with sour
cream to creamed mixture. Pour 1/2 batter into a greased and floured
9 inch bundt pan.
Add 1/2 of the cranberry sauce, the remaining batter and the
remaining sauce.
Sprinkle with the nuts.
Bake in a 350 oven 40 to 45 minutes or tested done.
Cool in pan 5 minutes before removing. cool completely
Note: do not spread the cranberry sauce to the edges of the pan when
layering with the batter.
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Wed, Sep 12th - 1:07PM
Fish Story with a Bang
THERE WAS a man who fished every day and always came back with a
good catch. Eventually, the game warden decided this guy must be
doing something illegal. So the warden put on old clothes and made
friends with the man. "I've noticed you always catch fish," the
warden said. "Can I go out with you?" The fisherman
shrugged. "Sure," he replied. "See you here at 5 a.m. tomorrow."
The next day, they went fishing together. The fisherman steered his
boat into a remote part of the lake, then stopped. He opened his
tackle box, took out a stick of dynamite, lit the fuse and threw it
into the water. After it went off, dozens of stunned fish floated to
the surface.
The warden was astounded. "I caught you red-handed," he said. "I'm
the game warden, and you're under arrest." The fisherman said
nothing. He reached into his tackle box, took out another stick of
dynamite, lit the fuse and handed it to the warden. The fisherman
then asked him, "You going to talk or fish?"
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Sat, Sep 8th - 7:36PM
Food History Carnival of the Recipes is up.
Food History Carnival of the Recipes is up. Gillian Polack at Food History has outdone herself with a spectacular Carnival of the Recipes this week entitled Madeleines and Memories and presenting food from the past. Some of the childhood memory generating recipes include Turtles, Low Fat Macaroni and Cheese, Corny Ham & Potato Scallop, Shredded Pork Sandwiches, and a roast chicken recipe.
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Sat, Sep 8th - 7:01PM
"FRIENDSHIP"
"FRIENDSHIP"
TO HEAR WHAT IS UN SPOKEN, TO SEE WHAT IS UNSEEN.
TO FEEL WITHOUT EVEN TOUCHING IS MIRACLE CALLED "FRIENDSHIP"
YOU KNOW THE VALUE OF WATER,
WHEN RIVERS GO DRY.
YOU KNOW THE VALUE OF "FRIENDSHIP",
WHEN ITS TIME T SAY "GOODBYE"
YOU KNOW THE VALUE OF WATER,
WHEN RIVERS GO DRY.
YOU KNOW THE VALUE OF "FRIENDSHIP",
WHEN ITS TIME To SAY "GOODBYE"
-Source Unknown Funny Jokes
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