Today's family portrait is just as likely to display a blended family as a nuclear family. However, with over 75% of adults with children remarrying and 60% of those marriages ending in divorce, mostly because of the children, indicates that something is desperately wrong. Perhaps The Brady Bunch gave us a false impression of a blended family.

Blended families today vary widely but what is most common between them is difficulty blending. To be an effective step parent involves a lot of hard work, time, prayer and to be frank, disappointments. The following are a few good tips for starting off down the right path:

1. Just because you are now married does not mean your new spouse should be given automatic rights to discipline your children. Most often, this is the start of family turmoil. The children should only be disciplined by their biological parent. The non-biological parent should serve as support to their spouse. Private conversations between the husband and wife regarding house rules and discipline should occur and agreed upon very early on. They should be shared and followed through with all of the children so they know what to expect, which diminishes feelings of resentment.

2. Spend time with your own children separately. This is especially important in the beginning. It will bring much needed comfort and security to your children. They need to know that they are still a priority in your life. It is very important that separate time with your children is carefully balanced so they don’t become confused about the union of their new family. As for family time, be sure to regularly plan outings and family time together, which fosters the blending process. Make sure these times are used for enjoying one another and bonding, instead of reprimanding for last weeks misbehavior.

3. Do not compete with the parental role of the same sex biological parent. The child needs to know that their step-parent is an addition to their life, not a replacement of their same sex biological parent. Encourage their love and loyalty to the absent biological parent.

4. Lower your expectations. Even after many years, in contrast to nuclear families, most blended families lack family cohesiveness.

Author's Website: www.goingmw.com | Source: christianarticles.net

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment of bringing something to represent their religion.

The first boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is the Star of David."

The second boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm am Catholic and this is the Crucifix."

The third boy got in front of the class and said, " My name is Tommy and I am Baptist and this is a casserole."

Myths about Change (or excuses not to change):

• Other people in my life need to change, not me.
• Changing takes too much energy.
• Life would be smoother if my partner or spouse would change his/her behaviors.
• If only my children would change then my stress would be reduced.
• My supervisor and coworkers need to change, not me.
• I'm too old to change because I'm set in my ways.
• I need to know the cause of the problem before I can make changes.
• Stubborn people can't change.
• If I change, others will take advantage of me.

Realities about Change:

• You cannot change other people; you can only change yourself. When you change, you will be a catalyst and influence others to change (if they want to change).
• Unresolved problems usually require more energy then problem-solving.
• Change in relationships involves cooperation, commitment, and compromise.
• People are in a constant state of change in various degrees.
• Effective change consists of appropriate decision-making skills and choices.
• Sometimes a significant change involves the ability to take a risk after thoroughly assessing and evaluating the situation. Consider consequences and rewards. What is the payoff for making changes?
• Being aware of the dynamics of the change process promotes understanding.

by Melissa Martin who writes about the human condition.

As you wait upon this shore
How your heart does long to soar
With eagle's wings you want to fly
From the pain that makes you cry

Tired and weary is your soul
And you pray to be made whole
So you wait upon the Lord
Daily reading of His word

In His time His breath will blow
The wind beneath your feet will grow
He will teach you how to fly
As an eagle soaring high

Above the clouds you will view
All that God has walked you through
Flying close to the Son
You will see what He has done

Pressing on in fearsome flight
Reaching for His guiding light
Grace and beauty will cover you
As others learn to follow you

Soaring through that darkened sky
You will see with eagle eye
He will give you gift of sight
To see the one who stalks at night

For now you sit in this place
As He covers you with grace
He sees your grief and knows your pain
For such a time is why He came

So rest in Him a work He'll do
Gifts of grace will be given you
For the tasks He's called you to

To know Maria Egilsson is to know someone who is passionate about issues women face, their relationship with themselves, with God and the world around them. Maria can be contacted at TheWoman2Woman.com

Proverbs 1:33 "But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil."

The command here is to listen to God. Hearken from Webster's dictionary means 1. To listen; to lend the ear; to attend to what is uttered, with eagerness or curiosity. 2. To attend; to regard; to give heed to what is uttered; to observe or obey.

Hearken in the Strong's Hebrew dictionary means to hear intelligently (often with implication of attention, obedience, etc.; causatively to tell, etc.)

We are to listen and understand. Read your Bible until you understand it. Have you read your daily Bible reading? Great! You're "up to date". What was it about? Reading until we understand what God is teaching us sometimes takes only a few minutes, or a day spent meditating on the passage. Sometimes we must sit down and search the scriptures and study them to understand. We must always let the Holy Spirit guide us. He is the teacher of all truth.

Listen to the Bible being taught. You will listen to God by hearing and reading God's Word. Hear your Preacher. Take notes on his sermons. I heard a Pastor's wife tell fellow pastor wives that she always has a notebook that she takes notes in during her husband's messages. What a wonderful compliment to her husband's preaching. Some Pastor's do not appreciate people notes when he's preaching, but it would do us much benefit to go home and write down what you learned from the message. Mark the passage of scripture and review it later. The Bible says in James 1:22 "But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves."

Another way we must listen to God is by listening for His answer in prayer. Do we wait for him to answer us? Many times, in a hurry to get to the cares of life, we ask God a question and rush away, telling ourselves that He will answer us when He gets around to it. God doesn't "get around to" answering our questions. He answers right away, but reveals it to us in his perfect time and method. We simply do not listen. Wait on him! His answer is worth it! Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."

The awesomeness of God's commands is that we are rewarded for following them! He said that if we will listen to him we will dwell safely. What security it gives to know that we are safe. He also promises that we will "be quiet from fear of evil." That means that we will be peaceful or be at ease. We will rest from the worry of harm coming to us from other people. Not only will we be safe, but we will not worry about others hurting us or harming our family.

Liberty Baker is a Pastor's wife, Counselor, and teacher. Her and her husband specialize in building and strengthening relationships. Please visit our website at: fitlyspoken.org

For more books and resources on how to communicate better, express yourself, and strengthen social skills. Check out our book, 'Fitly Spoken', a Christian based book that explores the intricacies of human communication and expression in relationships.

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