Wed, Nov 30th - 8:37PM

The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, p. 25
149.3 miles
fog, clear, fog

173 recordings of 42 types, 11% free.

Rasmussen: -24: 43/56.

I had a nice letter from a journaller friend, the guy we met in Tennessee. He talked about grief.

This day had its ups and downs.  I called SMUD in the morning. It turns out that since they didn't approve the MED equipment discount till November 3, and we stopped using it on the 4th, that the three weeks earlier are on me. It's not retroactive. I knew Rich (who always looked for a discount or coupon or the cheaper way to do something) was really sick when he didn't get excited by my discovering this discount.  I guess it was pointless anyway.

I had better luck when I called USAA to take Rich off our auto insurance. This also involves our main credit card, and house insurance, and a mutual fund... I was put on hold for a few minutes, then got an expert in survivor benefits. She walked me through what I needed to do to get just my name on these things, and I made a number of decisions on other things, and the credit card is still good (whew! That's how I paid for the cremation!!) and later I can call a financial advisor or if I need any other help they'll deal with it. 

In the evening I went to check the credit card online and Rich's account was blocked, so I called USAA again, and a very nice young man walked me through setting up my own profile and my own password, etc.

The day was spent babysitting. It didn't go that well after lunch.  Joanna was not ready to take a nap and went into a major shrieking tantrum. I wouldn't pick her up till she stopped crying. Then I'd hold her, she'd fall asleep, but when I tried to put her down, the screaming would start again. Meanwhile, you have to catch Gareth every hour for the potty. I had J. asleep and put her down, about 2, and she woke up, started crying, and I went for Gareth and he was poopy, so I cleaned that up and came out to find she'd vomited on the carpet. Not my best day babysitting! I've since moved the playpen/crib to the spare bedroom, so she won't be so overstimulated when it's nap time.  But I sure missed Rich, who even sick would have held her while she slept.

This was in November of 2010.

I'm guessing Thursday will be better.

Then I went out shopping and picked up a file box for all these cards, etc, and more stationery to write thank-you's on.  People have been so nice!

Barney Frank is leaving... my "thank you letter" would be most unkind.

Tue, Nov 29th - 7:51PM

The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, p. 18
149.3 miles
fog, clear, fog

171 recordings of 41 types. 11% clear.

Rasmussen: -20: 44/54.  Pretty easy. Vacationer in chief.

There's a nice Advent wreath in the chapel at St. Philomene.  We said "and also with you" and Father E. said "nooooo" Oops.  This is going to be hard to learn.  Someone suggested we pass the basket every time we slip.

I drove down to Bernadette's to babysit.  There was a fire and a lot of traffic and a truck trying to move into my lane when I was in it.  Fortunately, the carpool lane was open (legally.)

So sad while I hold Joanna.  I thought about bowling, and I thought about the last time Rich was down here, Oct. 10. 

I understand the widder ladies coming out of the woodwork when there's a widower around, a lot better now, after less than a month alone. 

Rich was so proud of his kids!  He was proud that they all had houses.  He thought this one (Bernadette's) was great.  I also figure that now everything tastes good, and no stomach troubles.  Poor guy, he was so miserable.

His obituary plaque arrived. I know where I want it, but who to hang it up?

Trigger, his research on geocaches that would fulfill challenge requirements.

I took one of the long-sleeve shirts Bernadette gave Rich for his birthday as a jammie top.
This, like the vinyl digitizer, was a gift of hope. I think we all believed he'd beat the odds. Even Oct. 7 I had hopes he'd bounce back. (By Oct. 8, I was beginning to understand he wouldn't.) Sigh.

Tue, Nov 29th - 7:40AM

The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, p. 13
149.2 miles
fog, clear, fog

173 recordings of 43 types. 11% free.

I really messed up my morning prayers (the Liturgy of the Hours.) Gotta get back in practice.

On the way to church, someone was scrubbing grafitti off the neighbor's wall. I just hope the reason it was there was that nice white wall was too inviting.

We have the new(old) Mass now. A mere 40 years since the last time I said these words, and somehow I find it hard to change back!  It was a beautiful Mass, the first Sunday of Advent. Rich's friend Israel (I had to ask the judge for his name, which I'd forgotten) wasn't there, so I couldn't give him a bookmark. Communion is especially hard, but the taking up of the gifts, which was Rich's job to delegate, is hard as well.

Afterwards I went looking for batteries (L1131s) for the "Snow Dream" book, without any luck.  Bernadette came over later and I managed to order them online. Then I went to Emigh Hardware ("Mr. Codger's Girlfriend") to look for a pre-lit Christmas tree and found one. I also signed up for a drawing for a thousand dollars (wouldn't that be fun). I'll have to find the remote control switch for the tree, and I'll put some special ornaments on it, but I am NOT up to doing the big tree with Rich's nicely-put-away lights. I'm keeping the flag-and-card display up a few more days, though.

I went through the coupons. Rich was really good at that and at refunds. Most of them have  expired.  Waaaah.

Rich, the Keep Christ in Christmas Magnet was somehow STUCK to the freezer and left a couple of bits there, but the holes in the back are small and it fits on the car just fine.

At Church, I dropped off beets and asparagus, things we'd used to help Rich in the early days, and all the Ensure, but I didn't see the Miracle Whip. So I'll have more to drop off next week.

Vince called.  He thought he might be able to come for a few days next week, but this fell through.

Sun, Nov 27th - 8:58PM

The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, p. 6
149.2 miles
clear, then fog

I'm 1.1 pounds up, with high borderline BP.  Gotta stop eating to fill this hole in my heart.

174 recordings of 43 types. 10% freed up.

I found an altar card from a guy whose funeral we went to last December. I'd noticed they weren't at Rich's funeral. We didn't have a clue last December.

I had a sudden memory of Rich struggling to smile at Joanna and tell Gareth he loved him too. Tears.

I went to Mass, then to Raleys to see what they had in little trees.  A display was of a prelit tree with fiber bundles, and I remembered we had had one like that. I thought it had fallen apart, but decided I'd better check. Yes, it's gone.

My sister had called. I called her back and enjoyed a 55 minute call.  1 year of mourning for every 5 good years? I'm not sure I can last 9 more DAYS, never mind 9 more YEARS!

The gardeners came, and I started the turkey soup. Then I was getting a little antsy, so went over to the Discovery Museum to renew our (my) membership card.  They were duly upset to hear about Rich.

Back at home I thought I would take Pharaoh for a walk.  First thing though, was I had to put the collar back together, which involved bending some of the prongs. I wonder what on earth Mark did to it? Oh, well. I walked down by a church friend, someone who visited Rich a number of times.  She filled her car for the first time. I have filled this one three times, now. Though I used to fill the other cars fairly often.

Then I drove down to Elk Grove and Bernadette and I took the kids to the Parade of Lights.  Gareth was really excited, but got bored fairly soon. Joanna took it all in. We lasted about 50 minutes of parade after an hour going there and walking the distance and waiting.  lWe were next to the train tracks when a train came by, how exciting!!

It was foggy coming home. Nice to get home and cozy up.

4 months ago I thought Rich was fading, and two days after that we got the terrible news that the tumors were back and growing.  Rich thought he might have a year.  I was hopeful that the cisplatin would do some good.  Who knew it would be so fast?

This picture is from last year, November 5. Look at that smile!  In a year, he was dead.

Sun, Nov 27th - 12:51PM

The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, p. 6
147.7 miles
clear, cool

182 recordings of 46 types. 7% left.

hahahaha!

I heard a fox last night. 

My brother found a letter I wrote him:

December 1, 1963
Dearest brother,
Please write. I love your letters.
I've done it again— never profiting by my mistakes— I'm again going steady— for 1 week— with Richard James Yarnot. I don't think it's a mistake. 1) I almost asked him. 2) I'm not afraid to tell the world like I was last year. 3) He likes me as a person. 4) I like him very much. 5) We have common interests.
...
Dost remember Rich? He sure remembers you. This afternoon we're doing the radio program together. My radio voice isn't as bad as I'd feared.

I drove home early, had no trouble with traffic, and discovered Abby had been mostly good, but had urinated in the alcove. I had plastic down but I spilled a little. Grumble.

Just great, it looks like getting money from the VA will cut my DoD annuity. I don't think that's what Rich had in mind. Especially after paying back the $15000 he got in 1974 when he was RiFfed.  They finally gave him the full amount, the last month he was alive, too sick to enjoy it. I'll call the DAV Monday and see if I can get some help.

And then, in e-mail, a notice of an unpaid bill!  Panic!! Turns out that by November 22, I hadn't paid a bill due November 28th. OH COME ON!!! Stupid PacBell!

On the Nook, 252 books, 21% left. 

Hey, Rich, there's a card from the chemo nurses, with very nice personal notes.

A friend's daughter hit her head yesterday and died.  This woman was a classmate of Steve's in elementary school, and leaves two teenagers.  So the fact that I have spent the whole day wallowing in grief (making up for being pretty good yesterday.) I started weeping at Roni's, kept it together on the drive home*, then wept and wailed and cried and yelled the rest of the day. Too many triggers to note. I made sure to be in the bedroom by 9:47. It's only been three weeks, after all.

*Singing along with Christmas carols and classical (Grand March of Aida, anyone?)

McCaskill Calls for Probe into Smallpox Vaccine Boondoggle.

Sat, Nov 26th - 1:05PM

The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, p. 6
147.7 miles
rain, cloudy, then clearing

Oh, blork. I forgot my pills.

I was up at 6:30.  The Nook froze on me last night, for the first time since July.

Roni and I went to Mass. It was the second time this month I got her to church!  Anyway, I had the wrong Mass time so we went to Safeway, where I discovered 60W bulbs. Yay! Back to church, where I was reminded about last year, Rich and I looking at the offerings in their pretty baskets, ready to be blessed, and joking about trading up.

We came home to discover both kids in trouble with R.J. Lexi and I made salami rolls.

Then, about 1, Monica and Mark came with the turkey to barbeque, and the kids all ran around.  Monica blindsided me by giving me a box not to open till December 6. I'd completely forgotten St. Nicolas day. It was one of the first holidays Rich introduced me to... and he always loved it. I said "oh, NO, Monica!" and ran off to my room to cry. Eventually I came back to thank her.

Thanksgiving itself went well.  Bernadette and Rob and kids came, Roni's mother-in-law came,
and Linda and Jim came. I was a little upset at how the girls treated Jimmy: if I'd realized they'd go all Lord of the Flies on us I'd have had a little talk before he arrived. In any case, I don't think his feelings were hurt till later in the day.  Still, the little pack of wolves shouldn't be encouraged.

Gareth behaved well, as did Joanna.  As the day was winding down Genevieve decided her feelings were hurt and she didn't want to stay. Mark wasn't buying the blackmail and despite all the tears, they left and two minutes later G. was fine.

Roni and I stayed up chatting till almost midnight. All in all, a better day than I'd feared.

Sat, Nov 26th - 12:39PM

The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, p. 6
147.7 miles
cold, blustery, rain

166 recordings of 43 types. 13% clear.

Rasmussen -18: 44/53.

I thought I'd actually get a good night's sleep, but at 1 the stupid cat, who had gotten herself on the wrong side of the pocket door, started scratching at it. Bang! Bang! Bang! argh.  Once I'd gotten her in, I was awake.

I went over to Mass, and remembered how Rich was willing to have Mom live with us. For 15 years (well, 13.5, then she was in a nursing home.) What a good man he was. I took a lot of that for granted.

Trigger, Speeding Kills Bears pencil. He collected pencils and got this one from Yosemite, but at that point he knew there wasn't much point to it, so he never got it with the others.

Hey Rich, gas is down to $3.499!  Of course, they kept us up long enough that we're grateful for that.

I drove to Novato. I almost left the little notebook I had looked so hard for. I got started at 10:40.  It went surprisingly quickly. I got to Roni's before noon. Rich drove this the last time, both ways, when we went to Lexi's birthday party. There are lots of emotional land mines. And I couldn't take the picture of the Clover billboard, which has finally changed. "everywhere you go everyone wants a Clo."

I'd gone early in the day to see Lexi ride, but the weather was so dicy we didn't do it. R.J. wanted to get out of the house so we all walked down to Trader Joe's. I was doing all right till I saw the Keffir liquid yogurt, which was something I tried to take the place of the Ensure, but Rich didn't like it.

I called Pittsburgh. They had a buck eating from their bird feeder. I suggested venison instead of turkey.  They remember Rich saying I was taken care of. I sure hope he was right, for my own sake and mostly because he was so happy about it.

R.J. had been going to feed me lamb stew on Friday, but since I decided to come home that day, tonight was the stew. It was great.

The "mistakes" book I'm reading mentions Sync and distracted driving.  Ya think? Between that and the GPS, it was sometimes amazing that Rich could drive at all.

Thu, Nov 24th - 9:05PM

The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (vol. 1), p. 6
145.2 miles
cool, partly cloudy

163 recordings of 42 types with 15% room.

Rasmussen: -19: 45/52. Don't know much about history. In fact, if it happened before He was born, He doesn't care.

Must not judge, must not judge.

Rich and I were newly dating in 1963, though I already knew I wanted to marry him. We had a date planned for that Friday night, I don't remember where, but because of Kennedy's assassination, instead we stayed at my house and cuddled, watching TV.  Happy memories (of a very sad day. I'd already taken Nelda to a standing-room-only Mass at the Newman Center, which is when she started on the road to Catholicism.)

Library Day with Bernadette and the kids. I gave Gareth a cookie sheet with a Leappad alphabet magnetic toy from Roni.  It looks like a good car toy.

I got the DAV paperwork done. I thought for sure I'd have to go to the bank to get the account and routing numbers for direct deposit, but Rich left a note and, I believed, showed it to me. Later in the day, there was a letter to him from the DAV. Hey, Rich, you'll be happy to know you're still 100% disabled. I sure hope he was right about my benefits from them, because without it I'd only have $47K a year or so.  Cat food time?

I found a "working through grief" book. So far so good... or so bad... whatever.  Triggers de jour: in the paper box, October stuff, his list of medications. He was so careful to have it up to date and with him. Also, I finally found the little notebook I bought, and in it I'd noted Rich's hard time with the forms at radiation before he turned it over to me: "Daugoghter".  I was so sad about this, about the way his brain was going. He did know Dr. Hickey's phone number, however.

I planted the oak Paul sent. I hope it grows, because there's a nice open place at Roni's for it.

Hmmm.  There's an event in Novato next month, maybe I should go to it rather than to Nuts and Berries.

Reading: The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (vol 1), Edward Gibbon, The Bible (1 Machabees), The Introduction to the Devout Life, St. Francis de Sales, Blue Highways, William Least Heat Moon, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand, Why We Make Mistakes, Joseph T. Hallinan.

Thu, Nov 24th - 11:39AM

It's time I made a list of what I'm thankful for, since sometimes it's hard to remember that there are still plenty of things to be thankful about.

1. That Rich and I had almost 48 good years together. There were rough patches, but we stuck it out, and the good far outweighed the bad.

2. That we had time this year to do special things, like look at elephant seals, and the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and Yosemite.

3. That we had that wonderful family reunion in June. He had time with the grandchildren.

4.  I'm especially thankful for the children, their spouses, and the grandchildren who have been so much support and help.

5. I'm thankful for good friends, people who came to visit while Rich was sick, people who told him how they loved him while he was still here to hear them, and people who have been so supportive of me.  I've been asked to share Thanksgiving with friends. And people online who only know me by my postings who have been so helpful.  Also, the friend who fed my Hatchlings!

6. I'm thankful the funeral went well, that the weather was nice so we could be outside, that so many people came and shared. I'm especially thankful that Steve was able to come, and that the other children provided his "uniform."

7. I'm thankful for the Internet, and even Facebook, that helped me spread the word. It dawns on me that I'll be getting Christmas cards from some people who don't know, and how sad that will be.

8. I'm thankful for my pets, who don't understand why things are different, but who still want to be on my lap or by my side, and who make me feel better.

9. I'm thankful Rich took care of so much around the house, things I wouldn't have thought of till they went kablooey, like the sewer line and the water heater. I'm thankful he kept such good records to make this transition a little easier. I'm thankful I have enough to pay the bills till such time as my benefits kick in.

10. I'm glad he retired when he did because we had 13 good years to play in.

11. That I started to take over the chores in January so I'm not suddenly faced with all the stuff that needs doing at once (trash, doggie do cleanup, etc.) AND that the kids got me gardeners so I don't have to mow the lawn and rake the leaves!

Thu, Nov 24th - 7:20AM

145.2 miles
cool, clear

166 recordings of 44 types. 13% clear.

Rasmussen: -18: 46/52. Taking credit for a Bush bill.

barack’s game plan:

1 – Blame others for your own shortcomings.
2 – Take credit for the good work of others.

Empty-suit, narcissistic, gum-chewing moron.
DuctTapeMyBrain on November 21, 2011 at 8:10 AM

I was up at 0430 but stayed in bed dozing an hour. I decided to skip the funeral.

To the Commissary. The first time using my new widow's ID. At the BX I got the low-dose aspirin (I suppose I should stop calling it "baby aspirin") and Cars2, but the only Harry Potter was a deluxe pack with Blu-Ray and DVD and too much.  Then the commissary proper, still no breakfast pizzas and because I'd liked them, no breakfast tacos either. A lot of stuff for one person. And then I checked out in the lane Rich and I had used, he scanning, me bagging. If I'd bagged, I would have gone with paper, I'm beginning to run out.  So that was worth some tears in the parking lot.

He'd have gone mad on the homeward drive, approximately 5 or 10 minutes. They'd closed one lane, and of course no one lets you merge and others don't merge until the very last minute.  But then there was an accident in the middle lane, so it was all to do over again. 25 minutes.

I put away the groceries, then went over to bowling. I realized Angie's poem was actually more personal: I'd been looking at the sweet-but-generic poem on the back, all about how you should pay attention to someone before he is dead.

I got stamps, flowers, for my thank-you notes.  Then I went through all the address stickers. I have plenty in my own name. OK, I am DONE. I'll do the paperwork tomorrow.

The Allisons asked me to Thanksgiving. That was nice. And I got a very nice call from Roni's mother-in-law. Except that she's decided Gareth is a monster.

Triggers: his M&M stash in the back, and the port wine cheese he loved so much. And a candy egg from Easter in the candy dish. Waaaaah!

I was watching the Duggars at Stonehenge.  We were there, near midwinter, in 1969.  In the stones, which they don't allow nowadays. Monica got behind a stone and couldn't see us and cried.  My Mom was there, too. On that little trip we also saw Salisbury Cathedral.

"In one especially frightening study, doctors at the mayo Clinic went back and checked the previous 'normal' chest X-rays of patients who subsequently developed lung cancer.  What they found was horrifying; up to 90 percent of the tumors were visible in the previous X-rays.  Not only that, the researchers noted, the cancers were visible 'for months or even years.'  The radiologists had simply missed them." --- Joseph T. Hallinan, Why We Make Mistakes.

So all the "what-if"fing is pointless (or even more pointless.) It's probable that they wouldn't have seen the cancer anyway.

Bleck.  What a class(less) act.

Wed, Nov 23rd - 3:36PM

145.2 miles
cool, partly cloudy

169 recordings of 47 types. 12% clear.

Rasmussen: -15: 47/51.  This guy gets worse and worse.

One month since we went into Hospice.

I was up at 0445. My friend's daughter Elizabeth and her boyfriend Chuck were at church.  I gave out bookmarks, but I didn't catch up with Rich's friend who had been in a gang. Maybe next week. He didn't go to the pancake breakfast. (We always used to sit with them.)

Our friend Laurie wasn't at the funeral and I'd thought it was because she was doing the cooking, but it turns out that she'd had a car accident on the way and eventually got towed to the church lot with all the food.

Our former pastor, the control freak one, apparently confessed (outside of the sacrament) to abusing boys in Ireland in the 70s. I went into the paper to see if it was in there and all I found was his earlier announcement that he's an alcoholic. There was talk in the article about being lonely.  Surely, then, Marriage Encounter is not the right ministry for these priests. (He was the priest when we made our ME, back in the 70s, in fact.)

I remember Rich driving down to Fresno on an overnight so we could go to a dinosaur lecture.
And taking me to Berkeley on the off chance that we could get tickets to Bunraku, puppets in Japanese.  That in particular was guaranteed to bore him. He always supported me. And I suppose I wasn't that supportive of football.  Even this year. Sigh.

I got some stationery to thank people with (big enough for bookmarks to fit in) and some money, then went back to debone turkeys for Sharing God's Bounty.  However, I couldn't find a parking place, so I came home.  Then tonight I went to the Rosary for another person who died last Wednesday.  There were a gazillion people there, Knights guarding the casket, and slide show and speeches... finally Father announced the Rosary, said it was glorious mysteries and immediately began to do the joyful ones. OK. I used the Knight of Columbus rosary they just gave me. 

That was hard, and I realized that I probably didn't have the emotional strength to actually go to the funeral tomorrow.

Tue, Nov 22nd - 9:41PM

145.2 miles
cool, clearing

I'm 2.1 pounds up, with high Blood Pressure  (if this doesn't settle down this next week, I'll make a doctor appointment.)

170 recordings of 52 types. 11% clear.

Rasmussen: -18: 46/52.

I went to Mass, then discovered I didn't have my house keys, so I had to come in through the back.  I'd put them into my coat pocket yesterday.  Don't DO that.

While I was puttering around outside, I noticed the cooler on top of the junk pile. It was half full of water, melted from the last time we used it. When WAS that, Yosemite? I think so.  Maybe we took it to the geocaching event Sept. 4. In any case, no mildew or bad smells. Lucky.

I drove down to Bernadette's and she drove us to San Jose where we watched Charlotte in Seussical. Saw Monica's inlaws and Roni and kids, as well as Monica's family.  Charlotte was cute. She's a little unsure on the dancing but has the acting and singing down pat.  (She was a Who.) Afterwards we went to dinner at Peggy Sues. I'd taken the girls' oranges down for them so we delivered those before coming home. It was a very long day and I missed Rich a lot. I think the last time we were in San Jose was for Charlotte's first Communion. (Mother's Day) Which I drove both directions for, if I recall correctly. (Indeed I did, and Rich felt rocky enough to cancel Vision Quest Ranch, a safari place I'd wanted to stay in before Monterey.)

I found a gold chain and I'm wearing Rich's ring. It helps me to feel he's near.

Tue, Nov 22nd - 9:38PM

145.2 miles
cold rain

167 recordings of 52 types. 12% clear.

Rasmussen: -20: 44/54.

More badmouthing the US.

So in Obama’s opinions expressed on this tour, Americans are lazy and ignorant.  They won’t be in November 2012, so it’s small wonder his fundraising stinks back here in the US.

The first thing I did today was pour all the cat food into the dog food container.  So I got a new dog food container. Argh.

At Mass I stopped to talk to the sacristan for having made the funeral run so smoothly.  The Father asked how I was doing... not too bad for 2 weeks, I guess. I tend to suddenly burst into tears for no apparent reason.  The triggers today were his e-mails, especially the notification to everyone that he was sicker than we'd hoped, and his binoculars, which I'd left on the carport with the car stuff.  Fortunately I found them.  What in heck am I going to do with them?

Bernadette came to pick me up and we went to the Mountain Mandarin festival. I found a darling barrette to give to Charlotte and also got myself a bottle of mandarin balsamic which I think would make a great marinade.  It was blustery and cold rain, and Gareth was all over the place.  Finally Bernadette traded me children, which worked better. I got a 25# box of mandarins (that are greener than the samples) and split it up for the kids. I saw some caching friends and a church/facebook friend. Everyone's glad to see me out and about, but sometimes I just want to go back home and curl up into a ball.

Which I did do at 9:47.  Two weeks.  Two months ago I was buying chicken soup, one month ago he was having so much trouble with his oxygen.

OWS picking on children.

"The whole world is watching. And it’s generally repulsed by what it’s seen.”

the movement blew it by having no overriding purpose, stated goals, or visible leadership, he says, and it is increasingly perceived as a bunch of publicity-hungry complainers intent on disrupting others who are making a living.

Look, this is just another attempt by the media to find a movement to counter their hatred for the Tea Party. Remember the Coffee Party? Oh yeah, that was was gonna rock the nation. Turns out all they did was stain their teeth. How about the No Labels Party? Apparently they couldn’t find their parking spaces and the meetings never happened.

These OWSers are nothing but an incoherent mish-mash of anti-everythingers. The media tried to assign a goal to this group of drug-addicts and it utterly failed.

BKeyser on November 18, 2011 at 9:39 AM

Time to Rethink what the Government has Become.

But it ought to be especially galling for taxpayers, in the wake of the Solyndra revelations – and the now seemingly endless parade of crony beneficiaries of the Obama administration – to contemplate the very real pain it will inflict on their recession-shocked households if the Clinton tax code comes back.

Americans are not undertaxed.  Government at every level is, rather, overspent – and the people’s lives and commercial activities are stupendously overregulated, which discourages economic activity – as well as income mobility – by raising the cost of literally everything.

Before we collect one additional penny in taxes from anyone, we need to cut spending and regulation.  Start with the federal grants to Obama’s political cronies; the current prohibitions on drilling for oil and gas; and 100% of the discretionary activities of the Environmental Protection Agency, including the new air quality standards set to go into effect on 1 January.

Reading: The Bible (1 Machabees), The Introduction to the Devout Life, St. Francis de Sales, Blue Highways, William Least Heat Moon, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand, Why We Make Mistakes, Joseph T. Hallinan.

Mon, Nov 21st - 8:57PM

143.7 miles
clear, sunny

(yesterday's)148 recordings of 47 types.  20% clear.

Rasmussen: -19:47/53. Hawaii in Asia?

I remembered to bring Kleenex to the funeral. This was a Very Good Thing.

Joanna shrieked twice during the funeral: the second time Rob had to take her out.  Gareth apparently escaped and hit a piano key during the Alleluia. (I missed this entirely.)  The big kids were a little wiggly as the service started but then they settled down... till the reception.  The Pillar Room is on school grounds and this was school time, and my dear grandchildren got noisier and more adventurous as the reception wore on.  I was really getting antsy to get them out of there and to my house.

Apart from that, though, the reception was very nice. We got all the display except for the picture boards back into my car, and Niki and a couple of others (I lost count, talking to people) set those up where the food was.  People were looking at the pictures.  There was a LOT of food, so I needn't have worried. I found out a couple of days later that the lady who was bringing the food had an accident and had to be towed to the church lot. Oops.

The reception was great.  A lot of people were able to stay, and the food was good. (I'm still eating it 5 days later!) I think I walked around and saw everyone.

After most people had left we packed it up. It was a relief to me to have the kids leave.  Bernadette had sent hers to the house with Rob and his mother, so the door was unlocked.  They packed the leftover food for me, and walked it out to the car with Steve and me.  Then to the house, where I put away the display stuff. Monica took the picture boards so she could digitize all the pictures. There were lots more cards to look at.  I was especially pleased to see the blood receipt from a first-time donor, in Rich's honor.

Almost everyone sat outside, and the kids all went up the tree and indulged in a pomegranate fight. Oh my goodness.  As it headed toward dark we went to dinner at the diner across from the church. Monica had read good things about it on Yelp. Then to dessert at Leatherby's.

And so, Roni and family and Monica and family went home. Susannah and Paul and Bernadette and Carol and Patty came back to the house, before going their separate ways.  C&P will be back Thursday, as will Vince and Niki.

(Today) 157 recordings of 49 types. 16% clear.

Steve and I had a nice time to talk in the morning.  Then Carol and Patty came right after Vincenik.... I thought they were following each other again. It was just coincidence, however. Goodbye Steve and the sisters.  Then Vince and Niki stayed another couple of hours, but too soon they had to leave.  Both boys took some sandwiches from the funeral, so I don't have quite as much to work through.

Sniff.  Time for some crying.... and take out the trash. 

I made an appointment and went out to DEERS in Rancho Cordova with Rich's ID card and a death certificate.  They've been there 10 years.  Who knew?  I've been getting ID either at Travis AFB or Beale. They punched a hole in Rich's card, but let me keep it. Then, to my surprise, I got a new ID card, says USAFRETDEC.... waaaaah! and I'm now BD (beneficiary of deceased, I'm guessing.)

I found 1 of 3 caches.  Then got some cash came home and broke a candy dish, and then went to see Puss in Boots. I liked it well enough.  Look at the lineup of people, at 5, to see Twilight at midnight!

There have been 2 blood donations that I know about and a couple or three donations to Sharing God's Bounty. I hope to get a total on that one.

I got a nice(!) note from the DoD saying they're sorry but there are things that should be taken care of immediately. This is any partial pay: since that would be 4 days at most it's not way important, but at least it was easy.

Venomous Kate
Dear Protesters: As you celebrate your two-month mark, keep in mind that if you'd dusted the chips off of your shoulders and taken minimum wage jobs as fry-cooks, package deliverers, file clerks, etc. (as your parents did when they were your age), you'd have earned over $2300 in these past 8 weeks. That kind of money can is sufficient to pay rent, keep the lights on, eat modestly AND buy PBR on the weekends (as your parents figured out long before you did).

Elizabeth McKeighen Yep. I mean, I can personally understand the frustration of having college degrees that do me no good and having student loan debt on top of it, but that is MY doing and MY responsibility, not the world's. Haven't any of them heard of career changed, or studying something that might actually get you hired??? Nah, that would require a work ethic...

Sarah Tattersall Eaton: Forgive me but the Occupy movement is wrought with fights, rapes, arrests, and local governments shutting them down. Was any of that evident with the Tea Party movement?
        Dawn Collins No and not even hidden. what is up with folks? Oh yes I recall, they are idiots.

Reading: The Bible (1 Machabees), The Introduction to the Devout Life, St. Francis de Sales, Blue Highways, William Least Heat Moon, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand, Double Exposure, Michael Lister.

Sun, Nov 20th - 3:12PM

143.2 miles
clear, sunny

Dearest Rich:

When we went into hospice, the intake nurse was listing what they'd do for us, and one thing she said was they would help with planning the funeral.  You said "good!" Apparently that had been weighing on your mind. I was surprised, I was pretty sure I could plan a funeral. In the event, hospice would have been no help, it was another thing they didn't actually deliver on, and the funeral home would have been the funeral planner if I'd let them. I only let her make the arrangements for the military honors: the rest of it was me. It's the only time I ever intend to do this, so I hoped to get it right.

The first order of business is what we would wear.  The Team Yarnot shirts seemed the logical choice, and when I said it to the kids (Vince and Bernadette first) they agreed. R.J. was a little reluctant, worried about what people would think. As it happened, we got lots of positive comments. The kids got a shirt for Steve as well, so the whole team was represented. Roni and I went to talk to Father Eduino to be sure we weren't doing anything too outrageous. I talked to Alan and planned the music. Also, he made sure there were easels and tables so we could put up the display.  The family arrived at the church at or before 9 so we could set up the display, mark the readings, etc.

It was a good display, though it's taken three days to realize we didn't put a softball in it!  Oh, well. There were most of the things you've been interested in lately: first off the team shirt.  Your patch jacket. The silly hat with all the pins.  A tie with biplanes on it.
Your bowling ball, your Terrible Towel, a pomegranate and a cactus, the 25 gallon blood drop from Blood Source, crystals, a cannon, the GPS, Eric's little "I heart Djadja" poster.  And lots and lots of pictures.... the family reunion, the plaque from your retirement (in 1998, not 1988!) and one from Monica's Thanksgiving with Eric as the new baby, and three picture boards with pictures.  I didn't say "family" as one of your loves in the obituary, but it certainly showed in the pictures.  Most of them were with family members and your love for them and ours for you was evident.

The first people to turn up were the next-door neighbors.  They looked uncomfortable in a Catholic church, but they braved it.  This is when we discovered the front doors were still locked. Carol, Joan, and Mary also came.  There were two pews of geocachers!  After the funeral I saw our dentist came!  (It took a moment to recognize him, since he was out of context.) People from your work! I hadn't seen Al for 20 years, ever since you stopped playing softball.  And so many people from church.  Monica's inlaws and also Roxanne came! Roni's friend Kathy from high school and her mother. Roni's friends LJ and Sue.  Neva's folks, and Bernadette's friend Sara. Now, while these people came for their friends and some for me, still they have all talked to you and know you. Steve took a blurry picture: I'd say between 150 and 200 people. I directed a lot of them to the guest book, where they could get one of the bookmarks Bernadette and Monica designed and one of your wooden nickels.

WE were all in place at 10!  You have us well-trained.  Of course, since nothing was happening, I hopped up to talk to someone I spied. The funeral actually started about 10 past.  The Knights (4 of them in 4th degree) processed in with Father. Father had a little talk ahead of time, welcoming everyone and listing everyone in the family right from the obituary. Alan asked everyone to make sure they had song sheets, and then went into "Roll Away the Stone."  I cried, of course. Then the kids did the readings I'd picked out: Roni had Wisdom 3:1-6, 9.

But the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them.  They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was judged an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace.  For if before men, indeed, they be punished, yet is their hope full of immortality; chastized a little, they shall be greatly blessed, because God tried them and found them worthy of himself. As gold in the furnace, he proved them, and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself.  Those who trust in him shall understand truth, and the faithful shall abide with him in love: because grace and mercy are with his chosen ones.

I picked that one because you were definitely tried in the furnace the last couple of months.  It seemed to fit.  The choir sung the response to the 23rd Psalm, which Vince and Bernadette read.  Joanna was horrified that her mommy left her and shrieked her best during that reading.  Then Monica did the second reading, and broke down. 1 John 3:1-3.  Good thing I didn't choose a longer one.  She had practiced, but it's her Dad. (I didn't get her picture, darn it.)

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are.  This is why the world does not know us, because it did not know him.  Beloved, now we are the children of God, and it has not yet appeared what we shall be.  We know that, when he appears, we shall be like to him, for we shall see him just as he is. And everyone who has this hope in him makes himself holy, just as he also is holy.

The choir (4 people besides Alan) sang the alleluia and Father did the Beatitudes. I had asked for them but zoned out the first half.

Then the eulogies: First from Jim Mize, our judge friend.  Do you remember when I used to say "I saw him first, when we get divorced you'll have to find your OWN lawyer!"  Then when he became a judge, I said we'd have to stay together now.  He started by saying what an honor it was.

Eulogy for Richard Yarnot
November 16, 2011

For those of you who do not know, Sharing God’s Bounty is a free meals program serving hungry folks from all over Sacramento.  In nearly 29 years we have served over 975,000 meals.  In that time we have had literally thousands of volunteers help with the cooking, serving and cleaning-up.  Of those thousands there are a few special folks who are the reliable hands coming week after week to help and of those special volunteers there is even a more elite handful who were not only the hands but were also the heart and soul of Bounty.  Richard was one of those few extra-special superstars.

Some jobs at bounty are, how to say it, perhaps, less glamorous than others.  The hardest job to fill is parking lot detail.  It is less desirable because it is not on the floor where all the action is, it is often cold, rainy, dark and windy and yet it is absolutely essential for the safety of our guests and therefore the continuation of our program.  Over the years I have asked hundreds of volunteers to commit to this job on a regular bases.  For over 25 years only one person did:  our Richard Yarnot.

But much more than that, he filled that job with joy.  He could come in from the parking lot after the dinner was over, cold and dripping wet from the rain and he would be smiling, joking and bringing a sunshine into the gym where none existed naturally.  He liked to joke with me that I would know if he were doing his job well because he would be doing nothing and, of course, he meant that the quieter he kept the lot, the better he was doing his job.  Nevertheless, he could not help but tweak himself with that self-deprecating humor that endeared him to all of us.

Without asking him it was totally clear that he loved Bounty and our guests and our volunteers loved him.  Without fanfare, without self aggrandizement, Richard embraced the Gospel Message of Mathew 25, When the Son of Man, the resurrected Jesus says to the applicants at the pearly gates, “…for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me…”  Being a little dazzled by those shinny pearly gates I could see Richard saying, “Lord, when did I give YOU food, or drink or when did I welcome YOU as a stranger?”  And Jesus will say to him, as often as you did it for the least brothers and sisters at Sharing God’s Bounty you did it for me.  “But,” Richard will argue, “I was just the parking lot attendant.”  Remember I told you he was self-deprecating.  And you all know Richard, even when he argued, he always had that twinkle in his eye, a smile that convinced you he enjoyed the interchange and he did not take himself too seriously.  But, anyway, Jesus will get the last word (we all know that) and he says to Richard, “Get real, Richard!!”  (yes, our Lord often talks like that)  “You know that when you greeted the guests in the parking lot at Bounty you were welcoming the stranger and by keeping the lot safe, you were critical to permitting the other hundreds of volunteers to do their job of cooking, serving and cleaning-up.  Therefore, Richard, as I said in Mathew 25, verse 34, “For many reasons including your wonderful work at Sharing God’s Bounty, come, you have my Father’s blessing!  Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world.”

Finally, in the kitchen at Bounty we have a Plaque to honor those ultra-special Bounty volunteers who have passed on.  Richard, I did some calculating and I figured you did your Mathew 25 thing in excess of one thousand, one hundred and eighty-seven times.  You have more than earned your place with the highest honor Bounty ever bestows.  Your name will soon be etched on the Plaque joining greats such as the founders of the program Jackie Lane and Evelyn Trulock.  The words on the Plaque read, “In eternal gratitude to a superstar who is now breaking bread at the heavenly banquet.” 

Thank you so much Richard and save us a place at that table.

He emphasized that "you know he WILL argue."  Everyone laughed.  Patty had already written in the book that you shouldn't argue with God.

Next was Ron Allison.  He, too, choked up.

I don't really remember meeting Richard, formally.

He's one of those people, in our lives, that's always been there, someone you've known forever, always with a friendly smile and greeting, always with a caring question about the family or a common interest.  Always ready to share a table at whatever Church event, always ready to help make it happen.

Richard was my mentor in our families' Scouting experience.  When my sone Charles joined the Cub Scouts, Margaret was a Den Mother, and Richard encouraged me to get involved and take on the position of Scout Master for the Cub Pack.  This was a new experience for me so Richard guided me and taught me about merit badges, ceremonies with feathers and bear claws, and the Scouting ideals of "be prepared", to provide the boys with a positive experience to help them in their future lives.

Richard lead Boy Scout Troop 226 for many years.  As I recall he was the keeper of the Scout  Trailer, this was a big rectangular box on wheels that held all the camping and cooking gear needed for survival in the wilderness.  On one winter excursion to the mountains, he taught the boys and me how to build an igloo out of packed snow blocks to survive the night without freezing. (The boys just wanted to play around, so the shelters got built by flashlight.)

As a boy Richard did not have the scouting experience, so Summer Camp at Camp Winton at Bear Valley Reservoir was for him a chance to be a boy again.

Richard loved life and growing things.  If you've seen his cactus collection you know what I mean.  He loved to propagate plants and he and Jan used this talent, over many yars, with a plant booth at the Annual Family Fair to help raise funds for St Philomenes.  My own garden is a collection of memories in the form of plants.  A Chinese Ground Orchid purchased at the Yarnot Plant Booth, is now a thriving three foot diameter colony that reminds me of Richard each time I pass by it.

Richard also liked to experiment with grafting of fruit trees.  If he knew you had a variety of fruit he didn't have, he probably asked you for a branch to graft on to his trees of many varieties in his back yard.  He proudly bragged about his trees [well, Ron probably couldn't believe it was just the one tree!] that produced both early and late crops of peaches, nectarines, and plums.

Richard also loved to sing.  Jan tells me that that's one of the things that first attracted her to him.  I invited him many times to come sing with us in the choir, it would sure be nice to have some other men up here with us, but he was comfortable contributing his voice from the pews. As head usher, he would come up every Sunday with the offering and stand behind the choir until the closing hymn before taking it to the sacristy, always with a smile, always with positive comment.

Richard, we were blessed to share this journey thru life with you, and most of all, to call you Friend.  May you rest in the Peace of the Lord.

Father then said a few words, tying your life ("hunting"??) in with the Beatitudes and saying what a good guy you were.  Then we were into the Liturgy of the Eucharist.  They gave the first pew Communion, under both species, in the pew.  Joe had asked me before Mass if I'd named any Eucharistic ministers. Oops.  He took care of it. I thanked him later for having made the whole event run so smoothly.  The choir sang the song I'd been singing to you the last two weeks, "Be Not Afraid."  "I go before you always" is about Jesus, but I think it's also about you... as you did in Arkansas, again you're preparing a place for me. I couldn't sing this one, crying too hard.  People coming down the aisle stopped to touch me.  I really was astounded to see Alfrida and Kathy.

Then father wrapped up, and told everyone there was a reception afterwards, and gave the podium to the Knights of Columbus. A commendation was read, and then they gave that to me and a beautiful Rosary.

Brother Richard Yarnot
In Memoriam

Every Knight of Columbus is entrusted to the care of Mary, the Mother of Jesus, Mother of Our Redeemer, Mother of our Church and the Patroness of the Knights of Columbus.  Today we entrust the soul of our Brother Richard Yarnot to her, so that she may present him to her Son.

We present to you the soul of our Brother Richard where, by his death, our Council has sustained the loss of an exemplary Catholic and worthy Knight.  Since joining the Knights of Columbus Council 4970 in July 1981 Brother Richard was in support of, and in accord with, the principles [they misspelled it "principals", oops] of the Knights of Columbus.... charity, unity, fraternity and patriotism.  In particular, his can do early presence at our Council fund raising programs will always be remembered and missed.  His patriotism was evidenced by his military duty in and retirement from the United States Air Force. He was active in his parish, St. Philomene, as an usher and Sharing God's Bounty for many years. His involvement with the Scouting program and Jesuit High School Boosters showed his devotion to the youth of our community. [I didn't put your Loretto School Board stint into the obituary, since it seems to be pointless.]

We pray that you, most loving Mary, lead him into the presence of your Son. We look forward to the day when we will join Brother Richard in that heavenly kingdom, where your Son lives and reigns forever and ever. Amen.

Brother Richard who was born February 5, 1942 and departed this world on November 4, 2011 will be remembered daily in a special mass offered for the repose of his soul and the souls of all deceased Brother Knights at St. Mary's Church, the birthplace of our Order, in New Haven, Connecticut.

We offer this testimonial of condolence to Lady Knight Jan and the entire Yarnot family as an expression of heartfelt sympathy from the Brothers and Families of the Arden-Carmichael Council 4970 on this day November 16, 2011.

Joseph Kievernagel, Grand Knight.

Then it was time for the Military Honors. Oh My God. I knew it would be impressive.  They slowly marched down the aisle in silence, unfolded the flag, refolded the flag, and gave me the flag "from a grateful nation."  I had tears in my eyes and said thank you, and then TAPS played, and everyone cried.  They slowly marched back down the aisle.

I knew this would be hard.

Alan waited for his cue from father, then went into "On Eagle's Wings."  I made the gestures a little, but couldn't sing this one at all.

We did you up proud and I hope you were there enjoying it.  See? I didn't need help to organize a really memorable (for the right reasons!) funeral! People won't forget that one any time soon.

I miss you so.

All my love, Jan

Fri, Nov 18th - 9:41PM

143.2 miles
clear, sunny

143 recordings of 46 types. 22% left.

Radmussen: -15: 49/51.

Good thing HE's not lazy.

    how does he justify spending his Monday on the golf course while Congress and its so-called super committee debates how to reduce deficit spending, in part to boost the very investment Obama lamented less than a day earlier?

I thought it was already established that Obama’s lecturing tone is intended for the American people. The rules he dictates don’t apply to himself. Rather than ask him to abide by the rules he sets for us, we should simply be grateful to have him as our leader.

aunursa on November 15, 2011 at 8:11 AM

I woke at 130. Surely someday I'll be able to sleep.

I went after Mass to get Rich's ashes and the death certificates. I gave her the wrong maiden name, and I sure hope that won't matter.  When I was cleaning off a space for the ashes I found his remote control helicopter.  And of course, not in the display, but important to Rich, his sword he was so proud of. I thought I'd never again be able to give him a present as good (that was before geocaching.) And the trumpet with which he greeted the new year every year. Except last year, come to think of it. I went to bed early and I think he did too.

The ashes make it real.

He was always proud of me, talking me up. On our honeymoon we stopped at the LaBrea tar pits, which were just the holes in the ground, no Page museum yet.  He was telling the paleontologist in the pit that I was a geologist, and on and on.  Just last year I heard him remarking to someone how he liked that I rarely used the garbage disposal, just put the stuff either in the trash or the compost instead. 

Vince and Niki arrived shortly afternoon.  We chatted. Rich's sisters Carol and Patty were to land about 1:30 and then get to their hotel and get here about 3. Ha.  They finally called and they were going to have something to eat.  Apparently they chose a 5-course meal.  So we were still waiting when I heard a car outside. I thought at first it was Bernadette, but there was someone else with her so maybe it was Carol and Patty... no, it's Bernadette... and STEVE!!! I burst into tears and went into a bear hug. I never wanted to let go. I know why I was crying, because Rich would have been so happy to see him. At least we had Skype. They really surprised me.  They weren't going to lie if I asked, but I didn't ask because I didn't want to make him unhappy. 

Every time I saw him I cried and was hugged.    Then Monica and crew came and Vincenik decided to go get pizza. Finally Carol and Patty turned up.  The phone rang, and it was my niece and her husband who had driven down from Anacortes, near the Canadian border.  There was pizza left, come on over. So I had a houseful.  Rich would have loved it. (too. I was enjoying the company.)

Eventually everyone but Steve left, tomorrow's the big day. A few more tears and hugs.

Rich, I gave Steve your suit! It was only worn two or three times. I would have hated to take it to the thrift shop.

Wed, Nov 16th - 6:11AM

143.2 miles
clear, sunny

141 recordings of 46 types. 23% clear,

Rasmussen -15: That’s the president’s best Approval Index rating in three months. 50/49 That’s the first time since June that the president has reached the 50% mark.

It's All Our Fault

One of the upsetting things recently was finding Rich had recorded find #7800 and put the track in, like he enjoyed. I never saw the point, so even if I knew how, I wouldn't continue this, but even as sick as he was that day, he still did it.  Then when I found the next two caches, on the 8th, he never logged them.

I woke up at 2, read a couple of hours, then managed to sleep till 6. I woke to a dream of Rich, tired, in a brownish-gray outfit, slowly riding his trike home.  Not a satisfactory Rich dream, that.

I went over to the daily Mass. One lady stopped me afterwards and talked about grieving support groups.  This seems like a good idea, because my usual support group is the one who died. On the way home I looked at the line at Social Security and decided I could wait.  Came home and picked up for the cleaning crew. 

Only two ladies today so they took a little longer than usual.  They expressed sympathy and also wished me a happy Thanksgiving. After the cleaners I went back to Social Security and the computers are down. This actually works out, because the DAV will submit the request for me.

Then I went to the nearby Walgreen's (Rich got some sweatshirts there) and got my flu shot. Hence to Raley's for a few more copies of the (cheaper Monday) Bee with the obituary.

I got hold of Father Taylor! I'd asked one correspondent from the last time I lost him, but that email address no longer applies.  So I went to the Newman club chaplain, who was out of town but forwarded my request to the secretary and I got the phone number.  It was so so sooooo good to hear his voice.  He also asked how old Rich was and said he was 85, but somehow it sounded better coming from him.  I hope to see him next summer. It felt SO good to talk to him.  He'll say Mass for Rich tomorrow and for all of us on Wednesday.

I copied "My Dad" for people to read after the funeral. Also, I discovered I spent too much on the credit card last month.  Apparently I'm going to need a keeper around the money for awhile.

Mon, Nov 14th - 9:02PM

143.2 miles
clear, sunny

161 recordings of 49 types. 15% clear.

Genevieve's birthday, which I forgot.

They printed the obituary. Argh, Rich retired in 19NINETY8.  And the written one is almost from my handwritten notes instead of the carefully edited version.  But it's OK.

Rich, I archived Chicken Ranch Slough Marconi. I kinda figured that's what would happen... the last find was in April and this is not one I'm eager to maintain.

It was the day to brave the 9 o'clock Mass for the first time. I saw Knights of Columbus in full regalia. It's the day they read off the Knights who have died during the last year. I gave our friend a hug and he asked if I wanted Knights of Columbus at the funeral. Yes. I didn't know I was supposed to ask.  They'll be there. One escorted me into church.  Oh, and then everyone came over with hugs. I cried a lot. Especially after Communion, which we always took together. 

The Knight of Columbus friend started with Rich, almost gave a eulogy, and did cry. 

Hey, Rich, I do know how to plan a funeral!! He was happy the hospice would help with it. Yeah, right. I'd hoped HE would be able to help with it, but in the end the only thing he said was I got a flag and a bugle, so I was sure to order military honors.

Then I went out to an open house (a friend with a lathe who makes beautiful things) and saw a lot of people (geocachers) I know.

Maggie Fanelli Know what might accomplish something? If these people supposedly have so much free time, they could go work at soup kitchens or battered women's shelters instead of just "occupying" space.

Back at home, I took the dog and we walked to Codger's Walk.  There's a real geocacher's trail there. I dropped off 15 more wooden nickels.

Bernadette came over and put together the picture boards. I didn't say, in the obituary, that Rich was a family man, but it sure shows in these pictures.

I'm annoyed with a friend. I've been giving her chances, and still had to send her the obituary to get a "sorry for your loss."  Not an "oh, Jan, how awful!" or anything. I've been interested in her troubles, but friendship should be a two-way street. I'm about to drop her and her autistic grandchildren with the dysfunctional other family. (She redeemed herself with a nice guest book entry.)

Bedtime is the worst.

Sun, Nov 13th - 7:40PM

135.2 miles
foggy, then clear

163 recordings of 48 types. 14% clear.

Rasmussen: -17: 46/53.

I'm .9 (maybe) pounds up with borderline BP.  And I keep forgetting to take my statin pills at night.

I put out the Thanksgiving decorations.

Something was going on at Presentation, (a huge youth retreat) so I skipped church, and filled the car (it's been a month.) Back at home, I policed the back yard, and reloaded the greens, which involved doing some more clipping. That's a nice trimmer Rich got!  I should be through with this in a few more weeks.

Then I went into the back determined to find the tax paperwork. I first located some high school play programs of Rich's, then he showed me the folder (cleverly labelled "taxes") and I was able to print the 2010 form.

Rich, the mandarins are beginning to turn. You'd be hovering over them. And Susannah and Paul are driving down for the funeral!

I took the metal recycling to Davis, traveling with the dog.  I noticed Vince had loaded a propane canister, so I took that out before I left.  Noisy!! I had found a screw before I left, so the new metal recycling is started.  Then I took the tickets I won't use (might go to Chicago and to Titanic) to the musical theater and saw Steve Isaacson, the owner/director.  When I told him Rich had died, he went "Oh, geeze!" and was really upset. He mentioned David and I said I was beginning to feel like a jinx.  He said he'd cut me a check and I said no. So then he said any time I wanted to come to a show, just let him know.  Nice man.  And really misses Rich.

I finished the Davis trip by finding a geocache. I'm not going to be doing the fancy record keeping Rich did.  This one was hard to juggle the tiny cache and lid, the log, pen, the dog, the GPS, and me without pockets (that was a mistake.)

So, it was a day of accomplishment, alternating with some really hard crying that practically eviscerated me.  There is an advantage to being alone, I only scare the pets.

Tonight I went over to Mass. I saw a number of my friends, but not as many as at 9 o'clock Mass. I told the ladies I thought there'd be more than 100 people at the funeral.

On the way, I saw a sign that advertised a "great slection."

Afterwards I went to the Croatian dinner. Their cabbage rolls are this close to Rich's favorite, go³abki.  So I ate it in his honor and talked to some friends, including the recent widow who I didn't want to follow. I also enjoyed the baklava for him.  How I miss him! And so home.

Spooky won't sit in my lap. Now that I don't need the "I have a cat in my lap" excuse, I don't have a cat in my lap.

Poll: Americans Prefer Netanyahu Over Barack Obama

Jim Treacher:"We! Are! The whiny idlers with tents! We! Are! The whiny idlers with tents! We! Are! The whiny idlers with tents!" #OccupyWallStreet

    James F. O'Connell III Tents made out of petroleum distillates by large corporations.   

Jim Treacher: Why don't you teabaggers ever talk about all the people who HAVEN'T been murdered, raped, robbed, assaulted, or infested with lice? #OWS

OWS starts to crumble: the biter bit

We paid for it; it’s for us! You can’t just walk in and take our stuff!” And thus, in microcosm, the debate over welfare raised its head — as it always will.

At Codger's Walk:

[:D]Mikie Likes It  …  ‘cuz I really liked Rich.
He was a kindred spirit, a fellow curmudgeon. We would meet (not often enough) at an event and commiserate about the state of this activity that he loved, hides he really likes or despised for some reason, or the latest tweak out of the Crystal Palace up in Seattle. He was a clever constructor of interesting hides, but was not above doing a series of Micros. And he was devoted to his team’s namesake, Sailor, and to his spouse and life partner, Jan. I will not be able to attend the Memorial service next week, so this is my memorial: he will be missed, and hopefully remembered.[8D]
Took some memories, and left with a heavy heart – Thanks for all you did.[^]

Sat, Nov 12th - 9:08PM

135.1 miles
cloudy, rain

175 recordings of 47 types. 9% clear, so I'm getting threats.  Deleting "How the States Got their Shapes" from late June.

Rasmussen: -17: 46/53.

The President of the United States.  Chewing gum.

If Obama could find a happy medium between gum-chewing and bowing in the presence of foreign potentates, he might finally get the hang of diplomacy.

I started the day by going to church, then to Raley's for a couple of items and gas money.
So, Rich, maybe Red Baron isn't making the breakfast pizzas: there weren't any at Raley's, either. I got a half-gallon of milk for $2.39.  OUCH! And *distilled* water, since I've been giving the plants "drinking" water. Argh.

The neighbors are putting in a kitchen door in front. Interesting. Useful in the rainy season, for sure.

I got a nice note from Monica's aunt-in-law and at first I didn't realize who it was.  I forwarded it to M.

Rich, the geocaching event was crammed, and everyone misses you.  DJDS clan *gave* me the coin I was all prepared to buy. (I lasted about 50 minutes, then had to leave. I took wooden nickels, but not enough of them.)  I hugged a lot of people and cried a lot.  The chocolate doughnut I took didn't make it all better after all. 

I found a geocache before the event and one afterwards.  That's more today than we (I) did all last month.  I'm not going to be keeping up his (very useful) spreadsheet.

Back at home, I was trying to decide whether to curl up in a little ball or walk the dog. I finally decided to walk the dog. I went past the recent widow's apartment: she'd written me a very nice letter and I didn't know she'd moved so close.  This is the woman who had the 60 years with her husband... I'd hoped for that, too. Sigh.

My DVR died the death.  Dammit. Or so I thought: it had stopped once this morning but this evening it was rattling and could only get to a big red X on the screen.  After I watched the end, finally, of "Raising Arizona" (which I had started when Rich was still watching Monday Night Football: $8 a month is pretty steep rent for this movie!) I decided that I wouldn't do any more harm by hitting the DVR, and in fact it seems to have knocked everything back where it belongs.  Fingers crossed. 

Rich, there are 15 finds on Codger's Walk. AliRose went on the wrong side of the fence and LewisClan scaled the fence, so I'll probably check on it this weekend. I have to put more nickels into it, as well.

Sat, Nov 12th - 11:54AM

132.9 miles
partly cloudy

171 recordings of 51 types. 11% clear.

Rasmussen: -18: 45/53.

Not really American. Oh, I believe he was born here, but he doesn't really have the idea at all.

I went out to the Retreat house for Mass. I had been thinking of going up to the chemo place, but in the end, didn't have the stamina. I wept all over Brother Kurt.

I'd loaded the car to go out to the SPCA booksale then realized that it wasn't going to work that well at the beginning of the sale, so I should wait till the afternoon with Bernadette.

Rich, they're putting new doors next door.

I came home to yet Another Call from the Chaplain.  She'd left a callback number because she really wanted to come destroy the meds. I called back: "don't you guys ever talk to each other?" and got a long defensive song and dance about how the social worker had asked her to come.  Some chaplain!

It's another boy, Rich! The world needs more Yarnots!

I found the files for retirement annuities and called DFAS and the Civil Service Retirement people.  4-6 weeks?  The DFAS lady expressed condolences, the guy at Civil Service just took  the information.  Now I still have to tackle social security, but it's not so big it'll make all the difference.

The musician for the funeral will be $175.00 and I think I've got that covered, I'll know for sure next week.

Bernadette came over to help with the greens. Then we couldn't break into the neighbor's back yard, so we moved some up front for me to put in later.  As it turned out, apparently another neighbor had both cans, and had filled them with leaves, but we were able to put some branches in anyway. 

OK, so out to the booksale.  Turns out this shopping mall was pretty near destroyed in a fire on Monday, so the sale's been postponed.  Kinda a waste of a trip.

Then Bernadette got a good start on the picture display.  We had to lock the dog in the back room. I remember how Rich started having a really hard time going over the gate. I also ran my middle toe into a bookcase doing it myself.  Ow. (Two days later, it's really bruised.)

Bernadette was here till dark.  Dark comes awfully early. And then I was here alone, again.

Wes Johnson: As I have said before Occupy Wall Street have become our very own Palestinians.

Fri, Nov 11th - 2:36PM

132.9 miles
sunny, 60s

164 recordings of 49 types. 14% clear.

Rasmussen: -18: 45/54.

I support Bibi

So Sarkozy sandbagged the US on the UNESCO vote that approved full membership for the Palestinian Authority, but Netanyahu’s the liar?  Er, sure, Nicolas.  And if Obama thinks he has it bad, we have to put up with him every day.  For the next 438 days, anyway.

Bad cat, bad bad bad cat! She's using the alcove again.  I'm sure she's been upset the last few weeks, but this will never do. I brought out the plastic sheeting again. Grr.  There had been a couple of times when we first got the carpet, that I hadn't told Rich about, but I thought we'd sorted her out.

I went to Mass and returned the funeral book.  I told Father I wanted the Beatitudes for the Gospel reading.

Rich, Maria didn't know you'd died.  She was shocked and in sorrow. And Dr. Hickey called to offer condolences. He says you were a great guy.  You were loved by so many people, not just your family.

I saw someone in a knit hat walking a dog when I drove home.  OMG, everything is going to remind me of you.

There were cards in the mailbox.  Guess I didn't pick up the mail yesterday.

I cleaned out a box to put my book donations into. I'd shoved clean-but-un-put-away clothes into it so people could visit Rich in bed: found another couple of bags for St. Vincent. I may drop them off this afternoon. Fortunately one of the things in the box was the "coach" shirt for Team Yarnot. We will be wearing these shirts for the funeral and Rich's is to be in the display. If I hadn't found it, I'd be going mad.

The social worker had said she'd be here shortly after 10, and finally came about 11:15.  There's no way she can take this morphine to the hospice doctor, but has to destroy it. Seems like such a waste.

I called the Bee to make sure they would delete the one charge.  And I was in the process of organizing the funeral music when the social worker came.  The choir director thought there might be guns involved with the military honors. So I called the funeral director to specify NO guns, apparently it scares the children.

In the evening I called our neighbor/scout guy/longtime friend to speak, since I couldn't get hold of my first choice.  "Ron, would you speak at Rich's funeral?" and he hadn't heard, since they just got back from Hawaii. Hmm. I guess they should have followed up after talking to Vince.

Once I was rid of the social worker, I went to the Crocker Art Museum.  Once again, I got all tangled up with the one-way streets and all.  One of these days I will remember the simple direct route there.  There's a great, fun, exhibit there of Clayton Bailey's creations, funny robots and Bigfoot stuff. I loved it. Then I went to the gift store for Genevieve's birthday present. (I had been going to show a picture, but apparently Flickr isn't talking to me today.)

Back at home, the hospice chaplain had stopped by to destroy the meds.  Don't these people talk to each other?  Very annoying.

And so to bed.  Another day.

Jim Treacher: I'm getting pretty sick of frantically flipping through the Marquess of Queensberry rules while the other guy loads up his flamethrower.

Corruption rampant.

Obama’s shake-up shakedown — Good news for DC residents who are still picking their way through the shattered wreckage of this once-beautiful city, now ravaged by the earthquake last August. Help is on the way, thanks to Emperor Obama! TheDC’s Neil Munro reports:

“Obama declared D.C. a disaster zone Tuesday because of the August 23 earthquake that damaged some pinnacles and a gargoyle on an Episcopal cathedral, frightened some zoo animals, dropped some bricks into an alleyway alongside Ecuador’s embassy, and cracked the stones near the top of the Washington Monument. The epicenter of the earthquake was in the town of Mineral, Va. But the town’s application for disaster aid was rejected by the federal government, even though the nearby high school and elementary school are damaged and unusable, said Bernice Wilson Kube, Mineral’s vice-mayor… Virginia suffered roughly $150 million in uninsured damage from the earthquake, mostly due to damaged buildings. Washington D.C., however, was granted the lucrative status of ‘major disaster,’ according to a White House email sent Tuesday afternoon. ‘The President today declared a major disaster exists in the District of Columbia and ordered Federal aid to supplement the District of Columbia recovery efforts in the area affected by an earthquake during the period of Aug. 23-28, 2011,’ read the message. That declaration ensures the nation’s taxpayers are on the hook for three-quarters of whatever damages the local government can attribute to the earthquake.”

Turns out all the West Coast folks who said DC overreacted to the quake were right. They were just a few months early. You’ve heard of crony capitalism? This is crony tectonics.

Thu, Nov 10th - 8:15AM

132.7 miles
cold, clear

165 recordings of 48 types. 14% left.

I was showing the obituary to the family and realized I had not put the grandchildren into the obituary. So I cancelled the ad and put the corrected one in.  Somehow, the draft had appeared and it only needed a couple of changes. The addition of the grands cost $21 more. I'd have been so distraught if I'd remembered to put in the inlaw's spouses and forgotten the grandchildren!!

Unfortunately, the two charges over $700 got the attention of the credit card people.  Well, I say "unfortunately" but in reality, I'd rather they were on top of it than suddenly discovering I've been wiped out.  Later in the day I went to the commissary... Still no breakfast stuff.  And I forgot to pick up milk for oatmeal.  I did get "fairy brains" (brussels sprouts) and a lot of impulse things.  The checkout machine argued with me over and over.  But, fortunately, it took my card.  The credit card was declined at the BX.  Thank you very much, sacbee! Fortunately, I had enough cash on me to pay for the Brita filters, and I couldn't have paid cash at the Commissary. I came home to a "call us immediately" message but apparently wrote the number down wrong.  I kept getting a car insurance ad.  So I had to go online for the right number.  Then it was a nice call and I got the card activated again.

In the morning, I lost track of time and didn't make it to Mass. I vacuumed, moving furniture as I went.  My chair is now in front of the fireplace, and Rich's, which isn't as rumpsprung as mine (yet) is straight in front of the TV. The side table is straightened out and the lamp moved slightly.

I went over to Library Day. I lasted about 50 minutes, then needed to leave. I'd been playing with Gareth and the PlayDoh and Joan moved over and took over, telling me (three or four times) that they've been working in the kitchen.  She also talked about the kid's table she'd found and about the dry-erase crayons. She's a sweet lady, but I wasn't up to it. I finally just had to leave.  That's when I went shopping.

A BBS friend sent an acorn and potting stuff, a "Seeds of Life."  Sniff. I have no room for an oak here, but if I can get it going, Roni could take it.

10 Quotes that say how bad OWS had gotten. I believe it's going downhill like the "summer of love" because there really are wolves and idealists are wolf food.

Jim Treacher: Every generation has to learn for themselves that hippies are assholes.

Thu, Nov 10th - 6:18AM

132.7 miles
fog in the morning, then warmer

157 recordings of 46 types. 17% clear.

Rasmussen: -17:45/53.

smart-alec power.

If Sarkozy wanted to retaliate, just think of all the jokes he could have made about Obama’s daughters inheriting their mother’s looks!
AZCoyote on November 7, 2011 at 8:07 AM

another good one.

Jazz Shaw

people on the left should take this opportunity for some introspection before they quickly jump on accusations of Cain being an “Uncle Tom” and demonstrate some respect for what he accomplished under conditions more challenging than most of them could even imagine.

I went to Mass this morning in the fog.  Because I was trying to get the coordinates for the church I got in a little late. Afterwards, I confirmed for positively sure when the funeral will be and talked to Father about coming in later to discuss details.

The medical equipment got taken back.  I even remembered to put in the shower chair. Glad to see the last of it, especially the oxygen.

The SacBee made me start over with the obituary. So I wrote it again, once I was absolutely positively sure sure sure that it'll be the 16th at 10. 

I called the bowling alley.

Roni came. She took the fun ties she'd given her Dad, and hankies, and a robe. Later I got her to take the tent and tent poles, too. We went to St. Vincent de Paul with a lot of clothes.  Then to Hallmark where we got a nice guest book for the funeral. Then to Michael's and Office Depot looking for pens, and Roni got a posterboard for pictures.  We also had lunch at La Bou.  Then we stopped at home for a minute, then went to the mortuary with Rich's DD-214 and to talk to Father. 

I think it'll be a nice funeral.  He loaned me the reading book: the first one I chose, that Roni will read, is about rising above suffering, about being tried in the fire. Monica has a short one from 1 John about being loved.  I'll have Bernadette and Vince read the 23rd psalm. I asked the choir director to play, and he told me that he'd be delighted and there were choir members who already had asked to sing. 

Rich, the choir has already expressed an interest in singing for you.  It sounds like this will be quite a funeral. And more people have found Codger's Walk and also favorited Not a Needle.

I was horrified, when we came home, to find two jars of morphine on the porch. This would have been far too late if he'd stuck around, as I was down to about 4 or 5 doses left. Then I couldn't find the chart, maybe the guy took it, with VITAS' phone number on it. ARGH. I finally found it, and then noticed all the business cards.

Last weekend was the Sikh parade in Yuba City.  Missed it again. Rich really enjoyed this three years ago or so when we went.  He was especially impressed with all the free food.

Tue, Nov 8th - 7:44PM

132.7 miles
cold

151 recordings of 45 types. 20% left.

My new Comepraytherosary intentions:

Jan, California "for Jenn Oates, that this round of treatment will defeat the cancer once and for all."
    6:30 am Nov 6, 2011
   
Jan, California "Thank you for supportive children and please help them."
    6:29 am Nov 6, 2011
   
Jan, California "Thank you, Lord, that my husband's death was gentle, and please help us in our grief."

Vince left. I hated to see him go but was glad for the time I had and glad he gets to go home to his family.

I wrote a letter to the oncologist to thank him for taking all the time we needed and for answering all our questions and for always being honest without being cruel.  That's an awful job.

I went and picked peppers (and later, pomegranate (which are awful this year, needed more attention) and cukes, and, woe, another zucchini.)

I called the mortuary after Vince left and made an appointment at 10. I thought I was listening but apparently I wasn't, so was driving up and down Howe when the place is on Fulton.  Very nice lady, willing to go along with my minimalist approach.  She took a few vital statistics on Rich for the death certificate.  They'll help with the military honors thing. The whole package (including the case that will burn with him: I had a choice of styles, like who cares?) is $1500.  "What will be done with the ashes?"  "Do I have to tell you?"  (It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.)She comments that the Church is getting more vocal on this. I had talked about it to Rich, and he was adamant that he didn't want to be stuck in a columbarium and told me what he wanted, and that's what we'll do.

Back at home I paid some more bills. I was going to fill out his financial spreadsheet but made the mistake of looking at his health spreadsheet. He had kept track of every single number on the blood test they took before each chemo treatment. The last entry was September 6. That did it.  I couldn't do any more, just had to scream and cry and scream and cry some more.  I'm having trouble finding who actually pays him, and also last year's tax form (I don't believe this, he was always so scrupulous about keeping records.) But I'll not be looking in there again right away. Vince made a big difference in there, though, so it's easier to find stuff.

Bernadette came by after work for a little while.

This evening I was cleaning out drawers. To a point. I got about 6 or 7 bags of clothing ready for Sharing God's Bounty and a lot of the coats (though I kept a couple for myself.) I haven't done the fancy t-shirts, as I'm considering making a quilt of them.   I absolutely hate the idea of throwing out the thermal underwear, so I'll ask Vince if he has a use for them. I think maybe R.J. can use the nice brown robe, and the monogrammed "R" hankies. I imagine Roni got him those, as well as the "D" (for daddy) set. I've got some sweatshirts to go to special people. I discovered there were clothes in the drawers under the closet. Who knew?  They smell a little mildewy, so into the wash they go.  There were some very nice sweaters, too, and I haven't gone through all the stuff, but at least I can see into the closet now.  I threw out jammies (or actually, one set of pants I think would make very soft rags) and all the used briefs. I'd bought him two packs last month that we never opened, so those went straight to St. Vincent as well as the 12 (TWELVE!) pair of unused socks. I guess he started using his support hose about that time.

My poor darling.

Someone in the Bay Area sent a picture and said "remembered i had them of geowoodstock and just found it. I already have a geocache in the works, now just looking for a good spot near here for it. If you don't mind, the name is to be, "Yarnot Doing it right"."

James Wittenbach Despite >3,000 arrests, multiple rapes, and multiple acts of violence on a daily basis... the OWSholes still insist that the people doing these things are on the fringe of their movement.

Jim Treacher It's not a question of when they kill someone. It's a question of how the media explains it away.

Tom Gordon Mindless brownshirts, thugs and morons. Indifferent to everything but the continual, monotonous chanting of their failed idiot ideology. None of these creatures would last five minutes in that perfect collectivist utopia they drool on about.

But hey look, there's a Tea Partier attending a town hall meeting, addressing his elected representative in a raised tone of voice! Now clearly THIS is a harbinger of incivility, nay, imminent violent anarchy that needs to be addressed...

Obama releases truly inspirational video. “One year from now, all our progress could be erased”

I started writing the obituary, but put it on hold because I want to be absolutely sure of the funeral date. The SacBee gave me an account but no password, so I'm not at all sure it'll work. (And it didn't, I had to write it all up again. Of course I hadn't backed it up.)

Sun, Nov 6th - 9:31PM

132.7 miles
c-c-c-cold and rainy

150 recordings of 45 types. 20% free.

Rasmussen: -19: 46/53.

I called the brothers and sister. They already knew from Facebook. Monica made some chocolate croissants for breakfast. Then she left to go to her own family. So Vince and I took Pharaoh and re-placed the cache Rich had rescued on the 7th of October, the last time he went someplace on his own. I was trying to get the car re-configured, talk to the neighbors, and get the dog in, but he kept jumping in before I was ready, then running out in the street.  We finally got organized, and I had to go in for the GPS.  Really ditzy today!

When we got home, I wrote up the cache description for "Codger's Walk", then disabled the "Sailor's Memorial Cache" and entered this.

Mr. Codger (February 5, 1942 - November 4, 2011) used to walk here every day. At first he walked Sailor, approximately 7 miles round trip, then when Sailor got old he would drive and just walk in this area. After Sailor died, Mr. Codger continued his walks, first coming over on a bike, and later on a trike. The last day Mr. Codger left the house, he drove over here and picked up the scattered bits of Sailor's Memorial Cache (GC1718X).

Mr. Codger and Sailor are now hunting archived caches in the sky. Local cachers may well recognize the site and the cache (especially as Sailor's picture is on the cache and the logbook!) Mrs. Codger has added the wooden nickels Mr. Codger designed, and some travel bugs that need to be moved. Mr. Codger was never greedy, so only take one, please.

To quote Mr. Codger's description of the area:

    This cache is a well stocked ammo can placed at Sailor's favorite romping grounds, Del Paso Park at the Sacramento Softball Complex. Since this is a park, access is primarily during daylight hours. However, access is also at night until 11 P.M. when there is softball being played. You can tell because the field lights will be on. Your best access is to take the road to the area of the cell tower and take the established path/trail that starts by the enclosure. The cache is a short distance off this dirt trail. Although it appears you can drive down this trail, don't. Walk it. You might be tempted to take a more direct route through the growth, but you will only save about 100 feet and will get wet/muddy (there are vernal pools and unexpected depressions) in the winter and stickered/weed seeds at other times. Although this will appear to be a deserted area most times, there are many people using the area and can come up on you unexpectedly. So, please exercise care when accessing the cache and replace it as well concealed as you find it.

    During the winter the gates may be locked at the entrance requiring you to walk in. If so, parking is available along Longview Drive, but watch out, a few stretches are posted for No Parking.

    There are many spots in Del Paso Park that are used by the homeless. They are not a problem during daylight hours as they are out elsewhere. We caution anyone who does go for the cache after dark (not recommended) not to go alone.

    ...Since Mr Codger finds softballs here, this was almost a daily destination for him and Sailor during the non-rainy season. Mr Codger still walks here by himself, and he finds himself expecting to see Sailor whenever he turns a corner.

Together again.

So, Rich, it was a matter of 10 minutes between archiving Sailor's cache and enabling yours, and we've attracted notes already. The first to find took an hour and 8 minutes.

I thought there was no real reason we should stick around the house and wait for Bernadette to come here while we could visit her.  So we went down to Elk Grove.  I peered at Gareth:  "Nana!!" he said and came for a hug.  Joanna smiled at me and later cuddled a little.  Grandkid therapy.  Joan gave us some apple pie when we left.

At church I told a number of people about Rich, but one lady missed it. She came over and said she was so sorry about Rich, with my permission she'd like to come by and give him a kiss. Uh... I recovered first and said "he died last night."  Poor woman!

Father says the 16th at 10 AM is fine, but I need to confirm that on Monday.  The cold rain was blitzing down. We went to dinner at Tex Wasabi's and I was beginning to worry about the dog, because I remembered we hadn't actually checked the gate after the gardeners left. Oops.  Anyway, dinner was nice, and indeed there was a very very wet dog waiting for us.  At least he wasn't run over, which would have just been the last straw.

Yes, Rich, the children will help. Vince went into the office and found a number of things, including a stash of cash you may have forgotten about.  I went to bed, to see if I can actually sleep. I haven't slept properly for months.

Sun, Nov 6th - 7:19AM

132.2 miles
clear, cool
(I think. I don't remember looking.)

154 recordings of 44 types. 18% clear.

Rasmussen: -23:44/54

Time for the Occupy Mob to Call it Quits.

Remember when the Left was saying that Americans should fear the Tea Partiers because they were a potentially dangerous, violent mob? Well now, we actually have a dangerous, violent mob of thugs, anarchists, hippies, and wannabe revolutionaries committing rape and vandalism in between arrests and breaks to poo on people's doorsteps. And guess what? Liberals love 'em! "Ooh, they're on our side and they have drums! They must be our type of people!"

My intentions at Come Pray the Rosary:
Jan, California "for my children, so they won't be too sad about their dad."
 7:27 am Nov 4, 2011

Jan, California "for an easy death for my husband."

Rich was extremely agitated and couldn't rest, kept popping up again, so I called the hospice nurse.  This was about 1:30 AM and the nurse finally called at 2 saying he'd be here about 2:50.  I said to come on in, which he did.  He told me to start giving Rich a full ml. of morphine every hour. Rich then slept a couple of hours before waking up. He wanted the bathroom, so we tried that, then again he had a hard time resting, till Vince helped get him with his feet in bed and braced up on the pillows.  Then he went to sleep.

Father Eduino called and came out, anointing Rich again.

I spent most of the day, with a couple of meal breaks, with Rich.  Monica came, and Bernadette came.  Monica had been going to go home for Charlotte's "hair and makeup" meeting, since she doubted Mark could handle it, but decided to stay. The kids chatted in the living room.

Rich stayed asleep. I would give him his morphine or his atropine (and the lorazepam, but I finally stopped that) on schedule, and sat there with him watching. At one point in the afternoon I came out and said "I'm partway through a Rosary, if you want to come join me." Monica said I should have insisted... no, you don't force prayer. It was a great comfort to me (even though they don't know the prayers!) Since hearing is the last thing to go, I imagine he heard us. 

Monica made a campanella and asparagus and gorgonzola dish which was quite yummy. I ate in the bedroom.  Shortly after dinner the kids decided to come join me.  Rich's breathing was slowing, and there would be pauses when he'd have really shallow breaths before he'd catch it. The conversation continued quietly. Monica brought in her knitting. At 7:45 I gave him morphine, and then 8:45 seemed to roll around quickly, and soon it was 9:45. I noted he'd slowly slipped down and to the side, but he still looked comfortable.  I was thinking about giving him another dose, but hadn't started. I was sitting next to him, touching his shoulder, Monica was next on the bed, having just come back in from a phone call from Mark, Bernadette was at the foot of the bed, and Vince sitting in the closet across from the bed.  Rich gave a deep breath and then... I couldn't see shallow breaths. There were three sort of hiccups, I guess final twitches. We were all silent... and then we were sure.  Monica called Roni. Vince called Steve. Everyone called home. I talked to Roni, who was all upset that she wasn't here. I called hospice, then went back and sat with my guy.

I'm glad he's out of his misery, but I miss him so.

When I called hospice, the secretary sounded shocked.  He said he'd get in touch with the appropriate people.  Finally, something like 45 minutes later, the guy called to say he was about 45 minutes away. I told him I didn't need a chaplain... anyway, he finally got here, checked on Rich, pronounced death at 11:15 (actual TOD was 9:47 and I'm so glad we were all there watching with him) and called the mortuary, then started counting the pills and destroying the medication.  The kids signed a form that said he'd done this, but nobody actually knows.... however, I trust him. 

The mortuary guys came about 1:30 or 2.  They couldn't get the gurney around the bend, so had to carry Rich's shrouded body to it. It looked like he was struggling, before they strapped him down.  Of course, I know that's not true.

Then Bernadette left, and we sat around with wine and unwound a bit. I stripped the bed and put the sheets in the wash, and slept (sort of) out in the living room, going down about 3.

A sad sad day.

Fri, Nov 4th - 3:15PM

132.2
cold, blustery, rain

149 recordings of 44 types. 21% clear.

Rasmussen: -22: 44/55.

Expiration date.

Julian Assange: from hero to zero

The media is spending all this time on Herman Cain scandals, as a distraction from Solyndra and from Fast and Furious.

The Cain Scrutiny. No matter what Herman Cain did or didn’t do, all of the GOP candidates are guilty of the greatest crime of all: threatening Obama’s second term.

John Hawkins: Describing the Occupy Movement in post: Should I use "bubbling puddle of scum" or the more kitschy "wretched hive of scum and villainy?"

Rich and I had a massive bathroom problem for about half an hour, with me finally yelling "SIT DOWN!" and him fighting me "NO!" I thought if he woke up before 3:30 or 4, I was calling hospice. In the event, he had a peaceful night, waking at 6. I'd said when we went off chemo that anything over 2 weeks was a gift, now I'm not so sure.

When he's gone, there will be no one who understands & remembers all the little jokes.

At least he liked the turntable.

He was up at 6 and asked what day it is.  His hands are very cold. I put him down to sleep and he sat up again.

9 o'clock. "Help."  "I'm right here."  "Take my shoes off." At 10:20 he actually looked at me (wearing red for him) and said "oh, hi."  Then at 2 to 2:30 he was determined he had to stay up for the bathroom until I finally bullied him down. I hate hate hate this.  It's so hard for him to sit up but he doesn't want to lie down.  The nurse brought a wedge pillow which might help.

Fri, Nov 4th - 3:11PM

132.2 miles
cool

142 recordings of 41 types, 23% free.

Rasmussen: -22: 44/55

Self-Reliant? Oooh, scary!
Yeah, remember what it was like when government treated Americans like adults and stayed out of their lives?  We only grew into the most prosperous of nations, became the arsenal of democracy, and won two world wars, defeating fascism and then communism, too.  Now we have government that takes money from future generations to blow it on companies like Solyndra and pass so many ambiguous regulations that it chokes off prosperity and ends up putting government in the middle of the most intimate transactions of our lives, including the choice of food we consume.  Let’s not forget to mention that this direction of government conducts massive interventions in markets that set up distortions so bad that it destabilizes markets and entire financial sectors.

Steve Skyped but Rich was asleep. I was under orders from Vince and Bernadette to take a nap. I needed it, too, after a long time with Rich demanding to use the bathroom and having trouble getting back and forth. When Steve called, I suddenly couldn't keep my eyes open.  He got a glimpse of his Dad asleep, then had a nice chat with V&B.

Of course, when I got back to the bedroom, I couldn't get my eyes shut. Rich got up again and he is hard to get back down. I wondered last night if it was time to call hospice.

In the evening, when I was giving him his Lorazepam, he said "MINT!" This is a helluvva time to get his taste buds back.

While I was looking for our marriage certificate I found our passports. I'd thought they were good for 5 years but it turns out they're good for 10. I may go to Yucatan yet.

I hate this.

Wed, Nov 2nd - 4:41PM

132.2 miles
cool, windy
here come the dates.

136 recordings of 38 types. 26% clear.

Rasmussen: -21: 44/55.

He defines narcissism.

Today was a visit from the nurse. I did comment that the nebulizer might have been helpful LAST week. Like lady, if you'd LISTENED to me about the cough... in point of fact, it does appear to help.

The social worker, who was supposed to visit today, called to postpone.

Everything happened at once.  My neighbor called to ask if our dog was out.  Sure enough, so I was taking him to the back yard as the nurse drove up.  Then Rich mostly sat down, but got up for a short time so the nurse got to see me blowing his nose and putting him down again.  She suggested a bed table for him to brace on to help his breathing. Once she'd shown me how to use the nebulizer, she left, and then he was up and going to the bathroom.  This is so hard: he needs help with everything.  Finally I got him back and lying down, and THEN, finally, Bernadette came.

I ordered the Christmas magazines. I may have paid too much for magazine subscriptions, writing down 321 instead of 231. ARGH. Or maybe I didn't and just wrote it down wrong. Guess I'll see. Dyslexia again. The retirement checks went in, so I'm OK.

Monica needs my birth certificate and our marriage certificate. She's applying to the DAR for the girls.  I found the birth certificate and have a pretty good idea where the marriage certificate might be. I still have to dig out the copier to get them. I may just let her do it herself.

Oh, so surprising.

John Hawkins: The Obama position on illegal immigration seems to be that he isn't going to enforce the law of the land & he'll sue any state that does.

Charming. Another effect of OWS.

Wed, Nov 2nd - 8:09AM

132.2 miles
warm

146 recordings of 40 types. 21% left.

Rasmussen-20: 45/54

Math is hard.

I've been thinking of the great things we did this year, going to look at elephant seals, Monterey Bay Aquarium, the Yosemite trip (I'm so glad I got a lot of pictures of Rich there!) and the family reunion week.  Then I thought of the 5th thing and then forgot what it was. Now I've remembered. We took Gareth to the new California Academy of Sciences.  And that led to the 6th good thing, the PIXAR exhibit. It's actually been a pretty good year on average, except, of course, we knew this was hanging over his head.

I called the hospice and asked for the nurse to come today.  Rich has lumps.  It's the cancer, really going wild. She thought maybe he could use a wedge pillow to be more comfortable, and in a great demonstration of why I DON'T say "hospice is wonderful" she didn't bring it the next day.  She ordered medicine and a nebulizer, and Rich will start having liquid meds.

There's a chemo friend in the obituaries. I left a message in the online guest book. I only knew her from chemo, but what a sweet lady she was.

Hallowe'en.  I had the lights off and no decorations, and still a couple of groups came.  Then the supply company came by with the nebulizer. I had to let him in so he could see.

John Hawkins: A trust fund with no money in it isn't a trust fund in any meaningful sense, it's an IOU. HUGE DIFFERENCE. #socialsecurity

Coulter On Politico's Smear Of Cain: Liberals "Terrified Of Strong, Conservative, Black Men"

Tony Donnelly: Gee, the media didn't seem to have problems with Bill Clinton's activities with Monica Lewinsky in the White House itself, but make an accusation about a black conservative maybe saying something 15-20 years ago and they are like rabid pit-bulls.

Obama: Nancy Pelosi “was one of the best speakers of the House this country ever had”
[For some odd meaning of "best"]

"It amazes me how John Edwards managed to actually father a child with a campaign staffer while his wife was dying of cancer, with everyone but the National Enquirer ignoring the story. But if Herman Cain may have made a dirty joke decades ago -- well, that's big news!" -- Dave Price

@jtLOL: The only thing the Tea Partiers and the Occupiers have in common is that they both want the Tea Partiers' money.

Tue, Nov 1st - 8:06AM

Rich went out on October 7 and added 1.5 miles and 11 softballs.  There were some cans and bottles too but I don't know how many. This makes the final:

Last month I read 7 books, went to 0 movies, 0 plays, 9 Masses.

I found 2 caches last month, and we're at 7802.  We're 279th in the
world (AbbysGrammy and Bulli the Wonder Dog have separate lists? Anyway, this is more like it) , and 15th locally. 

In proofing, I'm in 1050th (out of 37338 proofers) place in the first proofing round, with 873 pages proofed, 17th (out of 4453) in P2 with 23523 pages, 559th (of 941) in P3 with 469 pages and formatting 655th place (3514) with 1020 pages.

In Flickr I have 41228 pictures, with 90489 views, and 198 sets to work on.

I didn't finish a whole Netflix film.