Creating Communities. Connecting People
Welcome, Guest      Bookmark and Share
 
 
Tell a friend about this site Invite    
 
Janey Godley's Blog - RSS feed - Add to Google

Wed, Apr 30th - 8:32AM


"I just don't feel right" My dad says to me. I know he doesn't feel right, he stupidly got old and unlike most of my family he has managed to stay alive until the age of 82, I say 'stupidly' got old as that's what being old is...a bloody stupid yet amazing thing.

 

We start decaying the minute we are born, we are basically human croissants and we all have a shelf life, I myself look like I am slowly defrosting, I can see it in the mirror.

 

"Those neighbours killed my cat" he splutters. "Dad it was their cat and he got old and sick, he just was a constant visitor and liked your carpet to rub his back on" I remind him.

 

"Well he was my friend as well and now he is dead" Dad says as he gets out his fresh cotton hankie to rub his nose. My dad doesn't do 'paper hankies' they are for stupid people and ignorant folk that probably kill cats that like visiting my dad.

 

Dad has his own funny way of doing things and I have realised that as his 'carer' and daughter, I have to not change those things. He will for example never stop collecting dead batteries, pens and junk mail and stuffing them in drawers. They are 'his' drawers and he has ever right to stuff them with dud light bulbs and tiny screws that I have no idea where they originated from. I suspect the tiny wee screws come from the broken spectacles he collects or they belong to the tiny people who live under the stairs and are waiting to head back to Lilliput as soon as they get them back.

 

 I have no idea why he needs to rip off the bit of red tape I have secured to his remote control to remind him where the volume buttons are, but I know he likes to call me five times a day that he can't work his TV.

 

His penchant for snipping the cuffs of all his socks as they "dig into my ankles", drives me insane, he cannot be convinced of the fact that Lycra exists and he doesn't have swollen of fat ankles!

 

So he now has 40 pairs of baggy ankle socks that look tatty.

 

My father has a collection of fancy baseball hats that would rival 50 cent or Jay Z and refuses to throw any of them out. One of his favourites is a Compton hat that has basically a Los Angeles gang slogan on it, he loves that one the most. He refuses to wear old man 'bunnets' like other old men, not for him the tartan checked flat cap, he prefers his gang totting rap gangsta hat to head to the doctors for his blood works to get checked. He likes a dapper waistcoat and refuses to take it off even in blistering heat.

 

He still makes a face when the Germans and Japanese are mentioned, having lost one brother in WWII and another brother who spent many years in a Japanese POW camp, he doesn't forget these things easily. Yet has a deep hatred of racism and shouts at the UKIP party when they grace his TV screen. Then he tries desperately to turn the volume down and calls me to 'fix his telly' when he can't figure it out.

 

My dad has a story about being an evacuee during WWII and it is utterly heart wrenching and makes me proud of the Granny that raised him as she basically rescued him from an evil farmer. Every day when I see him, he has a new story to tell me and I will never stop being amazed at his sparky spirit.

 

"So dad tell me why you don't feel right?" I asked him.

 

He looked at me and said "I think my socks are too tight, can you get me the scissor box out of the drawer so I can snip the ankle cuffs off?"

 

So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates and daily shenanigans.

 


Comment (0)


Thu, Apr 24th - 8:22AM

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 197

(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)

In episode 197 of Janey Godley's award winning podcast, the comedy mother and daughter Ashley Storrie shoot the breeze in this late podcast. Janey was in London.

Ashley tells us all about her birthday dinner and reminisces about her school days. Janey tells us about her latest #traintales. Ashley explains the Easter Story in the 'funny voice' and they both talk about this week's news stories.

Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 197

Check out our podcast advert on Vimeo

You can get your amazing Janey Godley's Podcast T-Shirts, Hoodies and Phone covers from RedBubble.

If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto our Donate Page and donate via PayPal or like us on Facebook or by signing up to Dropbox, it’s free to use! And you will always have your stuff when you need it with @Dropbox!

For more information on how you can help Matthew McVarish visit The Road to Change website.

Check out our Brad Pitt Style Perfume Advert

Check out: The saga of Tim and Freya

You can check out all our videos on: YouTube

Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook

Please rate us or leave a comment on: PodOmatic, ITunes

You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!

We hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.


Comment (0)


Thu, Apr 24th - 8:21AM



Comment (0)


Sat, Apr 19th - 6:44AM

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 196

(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)

In episode 196 of Janey Godley's award winning podcast, the comedy mother and daughter Ashley Storrie shoot the breeze in this late podcast. Janey was in London.

Ashley tells us all about her birthday dinner and reminisces about her school days. Janey tells us about her latest #traintales. Ashley explains the Easter Story in the 'funny voice' and they both talk about this week's news stories.

Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 196

Check out our podcast advert on Vimeo

You can get your amazing Janey Godley's Podcast T-Shirts, Hoodies and Phone covers from RedBubble.

If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto our Donate Page and donate via PayPal or like us on Facebook or by signing up to Dropbox, it’s free to use! And you will always have your stuff when you need it with @Dropbox!

For more information on how you can help Matthew McVarish visit The Road to Change website.

Check out our Brad Pitt Style Perfume Advert

Check out: The saga of Tim and Freya

You can check out all our videos on: YouTube

Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook

Please rate us or leave a comment on: PodOmatic, ITunes

You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!

We hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.


Comment (0)


Sat, Apr 12th - 11:04AM

I Am My Mother's Daughter

"Mammy, can I have ice cream?" I was stood outside a shop in my home town of Shettleston pointing at the Walls Ice Cream display as the scorching sun slowly melted the tar on the pavement and stuck to my brown plastic sandals.

My mammy shot her head round, like a gun had gone off and gave me the stare that said 'Do not ask for stuff in front of people when you know I have no money' I was six years old, I knew the rules, but the sun was so hot and the ice lolly looked so inviting I thought I would take a massive leap of faith and imagine she had money for ice cream in her purse. The thought of sucking on a fruity iced lolly made me almost hallucinate with excitement. I stood there with my angry frequently vicious dog Major, gripping his red leash in my sweaty hand.

My mammy's bristling anger could be physically felt as she carried on talking to the woman, even Major's tail dipped between his legs and he whined, and he was scared of nothing. I was in trouble, there was no way I could argue my way out of this. In fact you couldn't argue with this, we didn't argue with our parents.

You see back in the 60s we didn't know tantrums existed, wee poor working class kids thought 'tantrums' were imaginary, like DisneyWorld, we knew it might be a real thing, it might exist but we didn't know anyone who had gone there. We didn't know kids who screamed at their mammy to get what they wanted by kicking or swearing at her, that didn't exist in our life time, that was something drunk daddies did when they came home from the pub and spent the next day really sorry.

Who shouts at their mum? Nobody unless you had a mental illness or a death wish. As kids in the poor inner cities of working class Glasgow (which was all I knew) we never went against our mammies wishes, we knew she was poor and couldn’t buy stuff willy nilly and we also knew that everyone was pretty much in the same boat.

I once saw a girl with ribbons in her hair push a really expensive shiny dolls pram and asked my mum "Can I get a doll's pram like that?"

Mammy laughed out loud and said "Her mummy only had one child, if you want I will have another two and you can push them all you like in a real pram, and I will have more babies to love" then she wrapped her coat tightly around her skinny frame and walked off laughing. I was in a state of shock, I was the youngest child of four and didn't want a new baby in our house and immediately burst into tears, my mammy turned round and shouted "Changed your mind Janey?" and hugged me. My mammy used psychological powers to dissuade me wanting stuff.

It was the same with food, you got served ‘a dinner’ and if you didn't like that style of food you ate bread and jam, as my mammy didn't cater for six people's individual culinary tastes.

Back in the those days, you ate turnip, potatoes, butter beans and a wee bit of cheap meat, if you refused to eat that you were made to feel like a spoiled prince who killed his own people with a pointed spear to the eye. Someone at our table would immediately take it off you and pick away at it and you went to bed hungry. Quite rightly so, who could afford multi menus in the 60s?

The reason I bring this up is I witness on my daily travels -young kids scream and demand stuff from parents. Maybe the kids have behavioural problems but they all can't have that! I accept some do, but the sheer cheek and indolence they serve up to their parents shock me, maybe am getting old.

I recall Ashley bringing home some friends from school, they were about ten years old. One girl asked me could they eat crisps before dinner and I simply said "No" and carried on making the pasta. The wee girl pleaded in a mock whiney voice "Please, please pretty please" just then I heard Ashley whisper "Don't do that my mum doesn't like that, she said no and that means no" I smiled as  I knew I was finally my mother's daughter.

So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates and daily shenanigans.


Comment (0)


Thu, Apr 10th - 1:18PM

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 195

(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)

In episode 195 of Janey Godley's Podcast which features award winning stand up daughter Ashley Storrie, the pair discuss Maria Miller the thieving MP, Noah the movie and David Sedaris.

Ashley tells us all about Millport, Hope boards and does a collection of famous film synopsis's in a Glasgow voice. Janey talks in depth about how sexy it feels to scratch her own inner ear. The big news stories get debated and Wicked Cabaret in Glasgow gets a review. Many questions are answered and many more are created.

Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 195

Check out our podcast advert on Vimeo

You can get your amazing Janey Godley's Podcast T-Shirts, Hoodies and Phone covers from RedBubble.

If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto our Donate Page and donate via PayPal or like us on Facebook or by signing up to Dropbox, it’s free to use! And you will always have your stuff when you need it with @Dropbox!

For more information on how you can help Matthew McVarish visit The Road to Change website.

 

Check out our Brad Pitt Style Perfume Advert

Check out: The saga of Tim and Freya

You can check out all our videos on: YouTube

Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook

Please rate us or leave a comment on: PodOmatic, ITunes

You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!

We hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.

 


Comment (0)


Fri, Apr 4th - 8:49AM

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 194

(Please be aware that this Podast Contains strong language)

In episode 194 of Janey Godley's award winning podcast with Ashley Storrie, award winning duo get into all this week's news stories. Ashley has been to the dentist, the podcast won a Scottish Comedy Award and Janey appeared on a political TV debate show Newsnight Scotland.

This week also see's Janey's BBC Radio Scotland comedy documentary about seeing the funny in the referendum. In world news Robert Richards the rich man who was too rich to go jail gets debated and the story of the Scot's schoolgirl who refused a date with James Franco.

Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 194

Check out our podcast advert on Vimeo

You can get your amazing Janey Godley's Podcast T-Shirts, Hoodies and Phone covers from RedBubble.

If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto our Donate Page and donate via PayPal or like us on Facebook or by signing up to Dropbox, it’s free to use! And you will always have your stuff when you need it with @Dropbox!

For more information on how you can help Matthew McVarish visit The Road to Change website.

Check out our Brad Pitt Style Perfume Advert

Check out: The saga of Tim and Freya

You can check out all our videos on: YouTube

Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook

Please rate us or leave a comment on: PodOmatic, ITunes

You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!

We hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.


Comment (0)


April 2014
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30      
prev   next

  • All Blogs
  • Messenger
  • Member Search
  • Who's Online
    WebRing Bloggers: 9271

    ONLINE:
    Members: 0
    Guests: 0

    Today: 1


  • Archives
    Recent Posts
    Oct 2014
    Sep 2014
    Aug 2014
    Jul 2014
    Jun 2014
    May 2014
    Mar 2014
    Feb 2014
    Jan 2014
    Dec 2013
    Nov 2013
    Sep 2013
    Jul 2013
    Jun 2013
    May 2013
    Apr 2013
    Mar 2013
    Feb 2013
    Jan 2013
    Dec 2012
    Nov 2012
    Sep 2012
    Aug 2012
    Jul 2012
    Jun 2012
    May 2012
    Apr 2012
    Mar 2012
    Feb 2012
    Jan 2012
    Dec 2011
    Nov 2011
    Oct 2011
    Sep 2011
    Aug 2011
    Jul 2011
    Jun 2011
    May 2011
    Apr 2011
    Mar 2011
    Feb 2011
    Jan 2011
    Dec 2010
    Nov 2010
    Oct 2010
    Sep 2010
    Aug 2010
    Jul 2010
    Jun 2010
    May 2010
    Apr 2010
    Mar 2010
    Feb 2010
    Jan 2010
    Dec 2009
    Nov 2009
    Oct 2009

    What's New | Popular | Auctions | Blogs | Webspace | Discuss | ShopDragon | Newsletter | Powered by R360 | Contact Us
    Copyright © 2001-2012 WebRing®, Inc. All rights reserved. Terms of Service - Help - Privacy Policy